Master(s) of the House

Well, I guess I'll have to share that title with David now that I'm not the only person with a master's degree in the house. David graduated last Friday with his Master of Business Administration (emphasis finance) on Friday.

The convocation ceremonies were held in the massive Marriott Center. As you can tell, we had awesome seats. I sat next to my friend and her family and since we had little children in tow, we wanted to be close to the exit.

Zara mostly just wanted to climb up and down the steps. I haven't been back in the Marriott Center since my own graduation *cough*8*cough* years ago, and I forgot how steep they are. I wasn't too keen on her taking a tumble down a bunch of cement stairs. She wasn't happy with me.

David shaking hands with professors. 

They had two speeches (but I really only heard the first one, by a classmate of David's). Luckily, the graduate students walked first before Zara couldn't be contained any longer. It took them FOREVER to read the undergraduate names. Zara and I went outside during that.

Apparently, BYU's MBA program celebrated its 50th year this year and so all the MBA grads got to wear (and keep) these special yellow sashes to honor 50 years of the MBA program.

Zara thought David's tassel was pretty fun.

Finally, I just want to say a huge congratulations to David for accomplishing something so momentous. He's the first person in his family to earn a graduate degree (and the second to earn a bachelor's). He has worked so hard for so long to achieve this goal and I am constantly blown away by his intelligence, hard work, diligence, dedication, and mad Excel skills. He's been going to school full-time and/or working full-time the entire 5 years that we've been married. I don't know what we're going to do now that David will no longer have to do homework all the time.

Now, the next big step will be to find a job. Keep your fingers crossed that something comes up soon!

Baby Avoidance

So I've kinda been studiously avoiding thinking about anything related to babies and labor and birthing and breastfeeding and diapers and all that jazz for the last 8 months. It's been working out well for me. But now that I'm officially into my ninth month of pregnancy, I suppose I should prepare myself just a little for Baby Girl #2's arrival.

Last Saturday, David and I attended a "comfort measures" class at my midwife's birth center. It's was a 3-hour refresher course for previous parents to review relaxation techniques, the stages of labor, birth positions, and practice natural methods for having a more comfortable birth experience. I was a little skeptical going into it, but I actually learned some new things (like rebozo, which I love) and it made me feel a lot less anxious about going into labor. Even though I've successfully given birth without pain medication before, I've been feeling almost more apprehensive this time around. What if my body just totally fails me? What if my labor stalls again? What if it goes too quickly and I have to give birth on my front lawn like this woman? I'm still feeling nervous (I think all woman, no matter how many children they have had feel this way), but I'm not as scared as I was...which is a good thing.

But now, I have to prepare in other ways. Luckily, having a second girl means that I don't have to buy a lot of new baby clothes, so I'm set there. I dug out Zara's old clothes from their dusty storage bins and pulled out the newborn and 0-3 month clothes. I've got to wash those, along with the cloth diapers and receiving blankets and other cloth items. We got out the infant car seat, breast pump, and I scored a free [used] co-sleeper which we will use until Baby gets big enough for her own bed. I went to Babies R Us today and bought all the little things I think I will need: a new changing pad and cover for the changing table, new washclothes and bathtime and diapering supplies. I bought the infant insert for my Ergo carrier and I have a feeling she'll be living in that thing for the first several months of her life, especially if we have to move in June/July.

I've been making a bunch of freezer meals to see us through the first few weeks after birth, but I still need to stock up my pantry/freezer with plenty of food and buy snacks to eat during labor. Luckily, my mom is planning on coming to spend a week or two with us right after the Baby is born, so that should help tremendously. I still need to pack my bags for the birth center. I bought pads for myself (I didn't realize that you bleed for like 6 weeks after giving birth and I was unprepared for that last time) but I swear there are other personal items I need for myself that I'm forgetting.

I also bought Zara a bunch of little $1 toys for her to open and play with those first few days after the Baby is born so she doesn't get super jealous. She keeps asking when the baby will come out, but I'm not so sure she's going to love it once it doesn't go back in.

So, what else do I need to do? What am I forgetting? What else do you do to get ready for baby?

Easter 2013

We had a delightful Easter this year. We had church in the morning and had a relatively Christ-centered meeting (which doesn't always seem to happen on Easter Sunday unfortunately) and then came home for lunch and naps (although apparently only I partook in any actual napping). We then went to my Aunt Debbie's house for dinner and an Easter egg hunt. Zara had a great time playing with her second cousins (?...I'm actually not sure what their actual relationship is) and hunting for candy. She was very excited about her eggs. I'm not going to include a lot of commentary but here are some photos from our day:

Happy Easter everyone!

Something on a Stick Day

Seven years ago, I had this crush on a guy in my ward. We'd hung out a few times but he was very busy and I hadn't seen him around much and I was getting a little bummed out about that. My sister and I devised a plan to throw a dinner party with the express purpose of luring him to our house so I could see him again. We looked up a list of random national days (like national ice cream day or PI day) and discovered that March 28th was "Something on a Stick Day." So we decided to put together a fondue dipping party where everything we ate would be eaten from a stick and dipped into some sort of fondue or sauce. We invited several friends (including said crush) and had a delicious meal. 

David (my former crush....obviously) still fondly remembers that night. In fact, every March, he often casually mentions something about eating things on stick and how much fun that is and shouldn't we that again? And every March, I forget all about it until the day has passed. 

But this year, I finally managed to remember and we celebrated last Thursday with foods on a stick.

For an appetizer, we ate cheese on pretzel sticks. (Surprisingly tasty.)

Our main course was keababs of steak, potatoes and pineapple dipped in a creamy cilantro sauce.  

And for dessert, we had fruit kebabs dipped in nutella or a honey yogurt fruit dip.

Zara was rather unimpressed by food on a stick, but David and I really enjoyed reliving a moment from our early days of courtship. If you ever need a fun dinner idea, I highly recommend something on a stick. I'm normally not much for making a big deal out of made-up holidays (and even more mainstream holidays) but I think this is one tradition we may have to make a more permanent part of our family.

A Tale of Two Pregnancies

Pregnancy really loses its magic when you do it more than once, I've discovered.

When I was pregnant with Zara, I read What to Expect When You're Expecting obsessively. I knew exactly how far along I was to the week and day and I knew what size fruit my baby was and how she was developing every inch of the way.

This time around, I know when I got pregnant and I know when the baby is supposed to come out but don't ask me to actually count the weeks. You can do the math for yourself.

(Though for curiousity's sake, I just looked it up and I'm only 27 weeks along. That's a bummer. I thought I was at like week 30 or something.)

I don't know whether she's the length of a banana or the size of broccoli or if her lungs are developed or if she's grown fingernails. According to the ultrasound, she has two arms, two legs, and a head. I'm feeling pretty good about that.

With Zara, I marveled at my expanding belly, took consistent maternity shots to mark its progress and delighted in feeling her move around.

I have not taken a photograph of myself since Thanksgiving (maybe Christmas?) and it was certainly not to leave a lasting image of my expansion.

For the record, I am much bigger this time than I was with Zara. Thanks for reminding me.

And yes, this baby kicks me all the time...just like her sister. And no, it's not as much fun. It hurts and it makes it hard to breathe.

With Zara, I read everything I could about child birth, labor, relaxation techniques, did prenatal yoga and went swimming to keep strong and in shape so I would have a better chance of having a natural childbirth.

This time, I'm studiously avoiding my childbirth books. I should probably remind David how to demonstrate proper breathing techniques during labor since I won't have a doula this time.

My daily exercise typically involves the long walk from my office in the JFSB to the Wilk on campus to buy a mint brownie. And then I have to walk ALL the way back.

I really wish Utah had embraced the expectant mother parking trend. But then they'd need more expectant mother parking spots than handicapped spots.

With Zara, I could spend hours aahhing over baby clothes, looking at baby gear, and reading all the product safety reviews and spending hour after agonizing hour deciding which carseat/stroller/bottle/pacifier to buy.

I figure we already got most of that stuff covered now, so we're good. She won't care that everything is secondhand, right?

I don't mean to imply that I'm completely miserable this time around or that I'm not still terribly excited for this little girl to make her debut, but I do find it funny how different this pregnancy has been compared to Zara's. It really, really makes me wonder how some women do this many, many times. And I have *easy* pregnancies compared to most women.

Single Parenthood

David is in Paris for the week. He went with a few other students from the MBA program as a way to complete his requirements for his Global Management Certificate, which is basically like a minor in international business. They do a trip to Europe and a trip to Asia each year but since he's already conquered Asia, David decided to do the Europe trip. This is his first time in Europe and he was a little disappointed to go to France (given that there are several other countries in Europe he wanted to visit first) but at least I'm not super rabidly jealous of him since I've been to Paris twice. He's enjoyed some of the sight-seeing and the food, but he's also been sick the last few days and the weather is just as cold there as it is here so it hasn't been the most pleasant trip for him. Maybe he'll share some of his experiences here when he returns.

He left last Friday and will return next Monday. I will be very glad when he returns. Even though David and I had a long distance relationship for the majority of our two year dating relationship, we haven't spent much time apart since we got married 4.5 years ago. We've tried very hard to keep it that way and this is the longest amount of time we've spent apart since then. It's been a lot harder--on both of us--than I think we both expected.

Zara misses her daddy a lot. Every day when I go out to get David's Wall Street Journal, Zara grabs it from me and then runs through the house asking, "Where's Daddy?" so she can give him his paper. She doesn't understand why he's not here.

The experience has given me great appreciation for single parents. I can't even really compare myself to them since it's only 10 measly days apart, but I really don't know how single parents do it day after day. My boss is an incredible example of doing it gracefully and successfully. Her husband died several years ago, leaving her widowed with four children, some still quite young. I know she may not always feel like she's got it all together, but I've been in awe of her and her ability to juggle a full-time career with full-time parenting. She really is incredible.

It's not just doing it alone that seems so hard, it's doing it without the constant support and companionship of someone else. Someone you can talk to, and complain to, someone who is right there in the trenches with you, trying to figure out how to raise a kid without having to send them to therapy for the rest of their lives. Someone you can relax with, someone you can laugh with, someone you can share every moment of your life with. And even though there have honestly been times when I have felt like a military widow or a grad school widow, that I've been shouldering most of the parenting by myself, I never really have. David has always been there to talk me off of ledges, to avert potential mental breakdowns and shower our daughter with his love and attention. He really is the best partner to have in this life.

Can it just be Monday already?

The Expanding Malones

When I was pregnant with Zara, David gave me a blessing where he basically told me that Zara had been watching us from heaven and had chosen us as her parents and was excited to be a part of our family. I've thought about that quite a bit recently and I would totally pick us as parents.....we're pretty awesome.

Apparently, another little girl has picked us to be her parents as well and she'll be making her appearance near the end of May.

I would post the requisite ultrasound image to prove it, but well, those things just look like giant blobs to me and even though the three pictures the ultrasound technician gave us are labeled with body parts and a clear proclamation of "GIRL!," you'll just have to take her [and my] word for it.

I had debated about when to make the "official" internet announcement. Close friends and family (particularly those who have seen my expanding belly in person) know, but I've enjoyed keeping this pregnancy quiet and inconspicuous.  A small (small) part of me wanted to not say anything until she was born and just post a picture with "Surprise! I had a baby!" But now that we know what we're having and the baby is moving and making her presence felt so much more, I didn't want to keep quiet anymore. But I wanted to post on the blog first before I took the announcement to Facebook.

We're very excited to have another girl, though I think David is a little apprehensive of what he's going to do with two daughters, especially once they hit the teenage years. I will admit that a small, small part of me was really hoping for a boy but only because we have a boy name picked out and ready to go and we cannot agree on a single girl's name. It's not even that we can't agree, it's that we can't even think of any good options to begin with. So if anyone wants to offer up some girl name suggestions (with the tiny hint of possibility that we may steal it from you), please do so. I am in a girl name rut and I need some help.


And for those who care about this sort of information, I'm currently 21 weeks and am planning to have a water birth with a midwife at a birthing center here in Provo. I'm very excited to be working with our midwife and am looking forward (yes looking forward) to having a completely natural and hospital-free birth. :)

What's in a name?

This week I have been thinking about names. Most people who know me know that I have a weird hang-up about names--particularly first names. I changed my name when I was nine (from my given name Amanda to my middle name Elizabeth) and it was an essential, defining moment in my life; one that finally allowed me to be comfortable with my identity.

So it seems like a little funny to me now that of all the adjustments I had to make when I first married, changing my last name was the most difficult aspect of all. I had fought to be me--Liz Hayman--and for so long that I honestly didn't anticipate how hard it would be to adopt a whole new last name. And now, four and a half years later, I'm starting to feel comfortable as Liz Malone. Except for one thing.

Malone is obviously a very Irish name which is great for my Irish husband, but most people seem to assume that I must be Irish too. (Which I'm not....to the best of my knowledge.)

See, you infer many things about a person based on their last name. We make judgments, assumptions, even prejudicial decisions based on the origin of a person's family name. But Malone, while a fabulous name with a rich history, does not express who I am.

Though, honestly, Hayman doesn't really either.

See, Hayman is a wonderfully English name bestowed upon my family by the stepfather of my paternal great-grandfather. When his mother remarried, my great-grandfather was adopted by his stepfather--Joseph Hayman. My last name really should have been Cheiffetz, a good Jewish name for my Jewish ancestors. It doesn't represent the Millers (my Grandpa Hayman's maternal line) who were of German descent but immigrated to America from Latvia (then a part of Russia).

Nor does it account for my Grandma Hayman, formerly a Leavitt, whose surname came from a deviation of Lovat, a part of Clan Fraser from Scotland. Or that she was a fifth-generation Mormon whose ancestor, on her mother's side, was Peninah Cotton Wood, one of the first Native Americans to be baptized into the faith, and the first to enter into a plural marriage.

And it totally ignores my maternal line. It doesn't tell you anything about my great-grandmother, Anna Barbara Lakta who immigrated from Poland when she was nineteen years old with only her niece Veronica, and who worked as a Harvey Girl in Chicago for many years. It says nothing of her husband, Albert George Urbanik, another Polish Catholic immigrant, who worked on the trains in Gary, Indiana.

It misses my maternal grandmother's line, from another long stock of pioneer converts to the Church, who came to Utah from Denmark and other European countries, to live their religion in a desert land.

No, Malone does not adequately identify who I am....but then again, neither does Hayman, I guess. But is there really a last name out there that would convey to you that I'm just a little bit English, Scottish, German/Russian Jew, Polish Catholic, Scandinavian, with a little side helping of Native American?

So, in other words, just your typical, good old American mutt.

And in that case, any name should work just fine. Even an Irish one. ;) 

Do Overs

I've made a little quasi goal with myself to try to write a new blog post every Sunday, particularly on the things that I've been thinking about throughout the week. Which is not to say that I won't be writing about Zara from time to time, but I'm trying not to brag too much about that girl. She's seriously awesome.

David and I tend to get a little chatty at night, as we're both trying to fall asleep. Well, most nights, David falls asleep approximately 12.3 seconds after his head hits the pillow, but on the nights that David has a harder time falling asleep, we tend to talk about many different things--current events, history, economics, existential life questions....you know, typical pillow talk.

This week I've been thinking about what I may have done differently if I was starting school all over again. Would I chose something different?

While both David and I are quite happy with the subjects we've chosen to study and the careers we'd like to pursue, it was interesting to think about what we might have done differently.

David (BA in accounting, working on an MBA in finance) started out as an engineering major before flunking out during his first semester at Georgia Tech. He would have made a great engineer and still has an interest in the topic. (He prefers mechanical engineering.) I don't know how he does it, but he can just look at something, examine it, and figure out how it works and how to fix it. He said that if he'd stayed with accounting, he'd have enjoyed forensic accounting.

On the same career trajectory (BA and MA in American Studies), I would have made a few tweaks. I wish that I had majored in history at BYU, rather than American Studies (which is a stronger program and would have provided a more structured education) and minored in anthropology, rather than art history (art history only offered 1 class on museum work but anthropology has 4-5 classes on museums....who knew?). But I still would have done the exact same master's program, specializing in material culture and public history.

When I first entered college, I was deciding between studying American history in order to work in a history museum (which I love and knew I could excel at) or zoology in order to be a veterinarian/zookeeper (which I would have enjoyed, but would have had to work really hard at). I still find the sciences fascinating (although they don't come easy to me) and I love animals, but now I think that if I entered a completely different profession, I would chose psychology and become a therapist.

Based on personal research (read: having doctor's appointments), I've discovered that most health care professionals kinda suck when it comes to interacting with human beings. I've also realized that I really like talking with people, hearing their stories and trying to offer advice (when it's asked for) and providing general support and encouragement. One of the few gifts I feel that I have been given is the ability to empathize with other people and to not judge too harshly. Though I still want to inspire people to love history, I like the idea of helping people in more meaningful ways.

So lone blog reader, if you could have a do over, would you have studied something different?

TED Talks

I've been watching a lot of TED lately. If you haven't seen a TED Talk, they are 10-20 minute talks by scholars, activists, scientists, doctors, writers, etc. I find so many of the talks to be funny, inspiring, enlightening, and thought provoking. TED's tagline is "Ideas worth spreading" and I find that almost all of the talks I've watched do just that. I kinda want to give a TED talk myself in the future. I have no idea what I'd talk about, but I just think they are so cool. Here's a couple of my favorites:

My first TED Talk and still one of my favorites. Jill Bolte Taylor got a research opportunity few brain scientists would wish for: She had a massive stroke, and watched as her brain functions -- motion, speech, self-awareness -- shut down one by one. An astonishing story.

Sir Ken Robinson makes an entertaining and profoundly moving case for creating an education system that nurtures (rather than undermines) creativity. He is British so his talk is wonderfully dry and witty.

I've never read anything by Elizabeth Gilbert but I find her talk to be exceptionally insightful. She muses on the impossible things we expect from artists and geniuses -- and shares the radical idea that, instead of the rare person "being" a genius, all of us "have" a genius. It's a funny, personal and surprisingly moving talk.

Another wonderfully hilarious talk, while at the same time changing the way you might perceive happiness. Psychologist Shawn Achor argues that actually happiness inspires productivity.

Body language affects how others see us, but it may also change how we see ourselves. Social psychologist Amy Cuddy shows how “power posing” -- standing in a posture of confidence, even when we don’t feel confident -- can affect testosterone and cortisol levels in the brain, and might even have an impact on our chances for success.

Enjoy! And tell me if you'd recommend other TED talks. I'm always looking for good ones to watch.