What's in a name?

This week I have been thinking about names. Most people who know me know that I have a weird hang-up about names--particularly first names. I changed my name when I was nine (from my given name Amanda to my middle name Elizabeth) and it was an essential, defining moment in my life; one that finally allowed me to be comfortable with my identity.

So it seems like a little funny to me now that of all the adjustments I had to make when I first married, changing my last name was the most difficult aspect of all. I had fought to be me--Liz Hayman--and for so long that I honestly didn't anticipate how hard it would be to adopt a whole new last name. And now, four and a half years later, I'm starting to feel comfortable as Liz Malone. Except for one thing.

Malone is obviously a very Irish name which is great for my Irish husband, but most people seem to assume that I must be Irish too. (Which I'm not....to the best of my knowledge.)

See, you infer many things about a person based on their last name. We make judgments, assumptions, even prejudicial decisions based on the origin of a person's family name. But Malone, while a fabulous name with a rich history, does not express who I am.

Though, honestly, Hayman doesn't really either.

See, Hayman is a wonderfully English name bestowed upon my family by the stepfather of my paternal great-grandfather. When his mother remarried, my great-grandfather was adopted by his stepfather--Joseph Hayman. My last name really should have been Cheiffetz, a good Jewish name for my Jewish ancestors. It doesn't represent the Millers (my Grandpa Hayman's maternal line) who were of German descent but immigrated to America from Latvia (then a part of Russia).

Nor does it account for my Grandma Hayman, formerly a Leavitt, whose surname came from a deviation of Lovat, a part of Clan Fraser from Scotland. Or that she was a fifth-generation Mormon whose ancestor, on her mother's side, was Peninah Cotton Wood, one of the first Native Americans to be baptized into the faith, and the first to enter into a plural marriage.

And it totally ignores my maternal line. It doesn't tell you anything about my great-grandmother, Anna Barbara Lakta who immigrated from Poland when she was nineteen years old with only her niece Veronica, and who worked as a Harvey Girl in Chicago for many years. It says nothing of her husband, Albert George Urbanik, another Polish Catholic immigrant, who worked on the trains in Gary, Indiana.

It misses my maternal grandmother's line, from another long stock of pioneer converts to the Church, who came to Utah from Denmark and other European countries, to live their religion in a desert land.

No, Malone does not adequately identify who I am....but then again, neither does Hayman, I guess. But is there really a last name out there that would convey to you that I'm just a little bit English, Scottish, German/Russian Jew, Polish Catholic, Scandinavian, with a little side helping of Native American?

So, in other words, just your typical, good old American mutt.

And in that case, any name should work just fine. Even an Irish one. ;) 

Do Overs

I've made a little quasi goal with myself to try to write a new blog post every Sunday, particularly on the things that I've been thinking about throughout the week. Which is not to say that I won't be writing about Zara from time to time, but I'm trying not to brag too much about that girl. She's seriously awesome.

David and I tend to get a little chatty at night, as we're both trying to fall asleep. Well, most nights, David falls asleep approximately 12.3 seconds after his head hits the pillow, but on the nights that David has a harder time falling asleep, we tend to talk about many different things--current events, history, economics, existential life questions....you know, typical pillow talk.

This week I've been thinking about what I may have done differently if I was starting school all over again. Would I chose something different?

While both David and I are quite happy with the subjects we've chosen to study and the careers we'd like to pursue, it was interesting to think about what we might have done differently.

David (BA in accounting, working on an MBA in finance) started out as an engineering major before flunking out during his first semester at Georgia Tech. He would have made a great engineer and still has an interest in the topic. (He prefers mechanical engineering.) I don't know how he does it, but he can just look at something, examine it, and figure out how it works and how to fix it. He said that if he'd stayed with accounting, he'd have enjoyed forensic accounting.

On the same career trajectory (BA and MA in American Studies), I would have made a few tweaks. I wish that I had majored in history at BYU, rather than American Studies (which is a stronger program and would have provided a more structured education) and minored in anthropology, rather than art history (art history only offered 1 class on museum work but anthropology has 4-5 classes on museums....who knew?). But I still would have done the exact same master's program, specializing in material culture and public history.

When I first entered college, I was deciding between studying American history in order to work in a history museum (which I love and knew I could excel at) or zoology in order to be a veterinarian/zookeeper (which I would have enjoyed, but would have had to work really hard at). I still find the sciences fascinating (although they don't come easy to me) and I love animals, but now I think that if I entered a completely different profession, I would chose psychology and become a therapist.

Based on personal research (read: having doctor's appointments), I've discovered that most health care professionals kinda suck when it comes to interacting with human beings. I've also realized that I really like talking with people, hearing their stories and trying to offer advice (when it's asked for) and providing general support and encouragement. One of the few gifts I feel that I have been given is the ability to empathize with other people and to not judge too harshly. Though I still want to inspire people to love history, I like the idea of helping people in more meaningful ways.

So lone blog reader, if you could have a do over, would you have studied something different?

TED Talks

I've been watching a lot of TED lately. If you haven't seen a TED Talk, they are 10-20 minute talks by scholars, activists, scientists, doctors, writers, etc. I find so many of the talks to be funny, inspiring, enlightening, and thought provoking. TED's tagline is "Ideas worth spreading" and I find that almost all of the talks I've watched do just that. I kinda want to give a TED talk myself in the future. I have no idea what I'd talk about, but I just think they are so cool. Here's a couple of my favorites:

My first TED Talk and still one of my favorites. Jill Bolte Taylor got a research opportunity few brain scientists would wish for: She had a massive stroke, and watched as her brain functions -- motion, speech, self-awareness -- shut down one by one. An astonishing story.

Sir Ken Robinson makes an entertaining and profoundly moving case for creating an education system that nurtures (rather than undermines) creativity. He is British so his talk is wonderfully dry and witty.

I've never read anything by Elizabeth Gilbert but I find her talk to be exceptionally insightful. She muses on the impossible things we expect from artists and geniuses -- and shares the radical idea that, instead of the rare person "being" a genius, all of us "have" a genius. It's a funny, personal and surprisingly moving talk.

Another wonderfully hilarious talk, while at the same time changing the way you might perceive happiness. Psychologist Shawn Achor argues that actually happiness inspires productivity.

Body language affects how others see us, but it may also change how we see ourselves. Social psychologist Amy Cuddy shows how “power posing” -- standing in a posture of confidence, even when we don’t feel confident -- can affect testosterone and cortisol levels in the brain, and might even have an impact on our chances for success.

Enjoy! And tell me if you'd recommend other TED talks. I'm always looking for good ones to watch.