Benjamin Rhys Malone
Born: Sunday, July 26, 2015
Time: 9:39 AM
Weight: 8 pounds 12 ounces
Length: 19.5 inches
I see so many similarities and differences in the labors and
deliveries of my three children. Benjamin’s was my quickest and perhaps easiest
labor, but if I had to rank them, I’d still say Adelaide’s was my favorite (if
you can have a favorite tale of pain and baby birthing). But since I love birth
stories, here’s Benjamin’s story.
I’d been having contractions on and off for nearly two weeks
(sometimes with more intensity and frequency than other times) and I waited
expectantly for true labor to begin at any moment. For nearly a week, I thought
every day was going to be THE day. With each passing day of continued pregnancy,
my optimism faded. I had myself absolutely convinced he would arrive on Friday,
July 24th, but after a day of nearly constant but intermittent
contractions, I still found myself pregnant by day’s end. On Saturday, my
contractions stopped. My sister predicted the baby would come Sunday since she
had a very similar labor with her third child. Near constant contractions, 24
hours of nothing, and then boom. Baby. I
hoped she was right but didn’t want to get my hopes up again.
We spent our Saturday together as a family. We walked to
Zara’s school and played at their playground and then came home to eat
popsicles and lunch. We decided to introduce the girls to Star Wars and so
settled in with some popcorn and Episode IV, which the girls seemed to like.
(Adelaide especially liked Chewbacca, who she kept calling a bear.) Not being
much in the mood to cook, we went to Panda Express for dinner. My fortune,
fittingly enough, said “Remember yesterday, live for today, and plan for
tomorrow.” After putting the girls to bed, I watched some TV, took a shower,
and fell into a fitful sleep.
Around 3 AM, I woke up to use the bathroom but found I was
too restless to fall back asleep. I had a contraction and finding it slightly
more intense than usual, I decided to start tracking them. I laid in bed for
about half an hour and then moved into the living room to use my exercise ball.
The contractions were definitely harder but still only 5-7 minutes apart. By 4
o’clock, I thought it was time to wake up David. I didn’t want to delay going
to the hospital since I knew it would take us a long time to get the girls
situated and drive to the hospital which is 30 minutes away if there’s no
traffic.
David was very disoriented since he had stayed up way too
late watching a movie and hadn’t been asleep long. He hopped in the shower
while I went to call the on-call midwife and his sister, Fiona, about watching
the girls. By 5 AM, my contractions were now 3-5 minutes apart and growing more
intense but still manageable. We packed up the car and woke up the girls to
drive them to Fiona’s house about 15 minutes away. The girls were excited about
the baby’s arrival and Zara excitedly kept talking about her baby brother.
Adelaide seemed rather distraught when we dropped her off at Fiona’s house but
Fiona assured me she didn’t cry for very long.
Back in the car, we made our way to the hospital, still
another 30 minutes away. My contractions had now slowed down again, which
worried me since I didn’t want to arrive at the hospital only to be told I was
having false labor. The contractions were more painful, but back to 7-10
minutes apart. I thought part of the problem was the fact that I was sitting
down. I just needed to get up again and move around to keep my labor going.
We pulled into the hospital parking garage around 6 AM and made
our way to the Labor and Delivery unit on the 7th floor. I’d never
actually been inside the hospital so I had no idea what to expect. All I knew
is that this hospital (in downtown Atlanta) is one of only two hospitals in the
metro Atlanta area that specialize in natural childbirths and allow waterbirths
at their facilities. My midwives only deliver at this hospital and have a
strong partnership with them, which is why I had chosen to work with my midwife
group and deliver at Atlanta Medical Center (AMC) in the first place.
Georgia unfortunately doesn’t have any birth centers and
homebirths reside in a somewhat legal gray area which is why I ultimately opted
to have a hospital delivery. I’d asked them many questions about what to expect
at AMC and I had thought it would be more like my birth center experience but I
was quickly to discover that they would operate like most other hospitals when
it came to labor and delivery—lots of “standard measures of care” and little
choice.
As soon as we checked in, I was taken to a triage room where
I was required to put on one of those delightful hospital gowns that don’t
close in the back even though I had specifically requested in my birth plan
that I wanted to labor in my own clothes. I also had to have 20 minutes of
constant fetal monitoring before they’d let me go into a labor and delivery
room. This was also something I didn’t want because I knew having to lay in bed
for 20 minutes would slow my labor once again.
The baby’s heartbeat was strong, but the nurses were
concerned that my contractions were still so far apart. But when they checked
me, I was already dilated to a 7, maybe an 8 and so they finally believed me
when I said I just needed to get up and move around. It had been well over 30
minutes by this point and I was anxious to get into the labor and delivery room
and into the promised birth tub to continue my labor since my contractions were
slowly but surely growing more painful.
The on-call midwife, Gloria, finally arrived to deliver some
bad news. Even though I had been told that my Group B strep results had come
back negative from the lab, it looked like the results had been input
incorrectly and my labs actually showed that I was positive for Group B strep
and would need antibiotics. I had strenuously hoped to avoid this outcome since
I hate getting IVs with a passion. I was positive with Zara and I found the IV
to be the most painful and annoying aspect of the delivery. I was negative with
Adelaide and really loved having the freedom of movement.
I also knew that getting an IV line with the antibiotics
also had the potential to slow down my labor as well. They also need to deliver
the antibiotics in two doses over 4 hours and I knew we didn’t have time for
that. It was creeping closer to 7 AM by this point and for some reason, I was
confident that this baby would come around 9 o’clock. After a lot of back and
forth, Gloria finally agreed that we could decline the antibiotics (even though
it wasn’t the “standard of care”) and that we would have to monitor the baby
closely after birth for any signs of infection.
Finally they said we could move into a labor and delivery
room and that they’d get a tech to start setting up the birth tub for me. But
as with most things in hospitals, it seemed to take forever for anything to
happen. Our 20 minutes of fetal monitoring had stretched to nearly an hour. The
tub was inflated and brought into our room, but they wouldn’t start filling it
up until the baby’s heartbeat showed enough “variability.” That took another 10
minutes of constant fetal monitoring (which they begrudgingly let me do
standing up) while I powered through a few stronger and more intense
contractions.
They started to fill up the tub but the water was barely
even lukewarm. We cranked it up as high as it would go, but it never got very
hot. They suggested moving to another room but I knew we didn’t have time for
that. I just wanted to get into the tub for the last part of transition since I
was already starting to feel small urges to push and my contractions were
getting much more painful. Once the tub was finally filled, I climbed in and it
provided some instant relief to my labor pains.
By now another midwife, Anna, had joined us. I’d only met
with Anna once before (she’s one of the back-up midwives and not one of the
regular members of the group) but I had really clicked with her at our one and
only office visit and I was glad that she was there to help with the birth.
Gloria popped in and out, but it was Anna who sat with us through the rest of
the labor and who ultimately delivered Benjamin.
We sat and chatted as my contractions came and went. My
water hadn’t broken yet and my contractions, while definitely feeling more
painful and intense, were still quite spaced apart. I was able to relax quite a
bit between each one and as we neared 9 AM, a slight but not insistent urge to
push started to accompany my contractions. The water was quickly cooling down.
I knew I didn’t want to deliver in the tub, and I was just about to get out
when a phlebotomist came into the room to draw some blood. (Why, I have no idea
but it’s good she was so fast at her job.)
After she left with her vials of blood, I asked for help
getting out of the tub so that they could check my cervix once more and
possibly break my water and start pushing if the baby was in position. Anna
checked me and was surprised to discover that the baby’s head was sitting low
and that I was fully dilated. On the next contraction, she broke my water.
With both Zara and Adelaide, I felt an intense and sudden
urge to push. With Benjamin, I just felt “pushy,” like I wanted to push but I
could hold off if I wasn’t ready. I didn’t have this huge urge to push so it
came as a surprise to both Anna and myself that on my next contraction, I
started pushing and Benjamin just came flying out. With both Zara and Adelaide,
I would push for a minute or two, rest for a few minutes and then push more. With
Benjamin, it was five minutes of continuous pushing and then he emerged.
Since Anna had just broken my water, I was lying on my back
when the pushing started, which was not the position I wanted to deliver in. I
tried to turn around on the bed to get into a squatting position or on my knees
but Benjamin was coming out too fast and I couldn’t maneuver differently. I
just had to keep pushing in the most awkward position ever and suddenly, I had
a baby. I couldn’t believe how quickly he arrived. He was born at 9:39 AM, so
my prediction that he’d be born during the 9 o’clock hour came true.
I had a first degree tear which required a few stitches
(ugh) and I held Benjamin and tried to nurse as they delivered the placenta and
stitched me up. It wasn’t until then that we learned that because I’d declined
the antibiotics, we might have to stay at the hospital for 48 hours in order to
monitor Benjamin and make sure he didn’t have an infection. We finally got the
pediatrician to agree that if his 24 hour cultures came back clear, we could
leave after a day. There was no way I was going to stay in the hospital for 2
days. I went home 4 hours after giving birth to Adelaide so the thought of
staying even for 24 hours was torture.
We were taken down to our new room in the mother’s wing and
I passed an especially boring 24 hours. I know some women seem to enjoy their
hospital stay because they can lay in bed and just focus on the new baby, but I
was itching to get home. The hospital bed was uncomfortable, the food was
terrible, and I hated being constantly poked and prodded every hour or two. Why
does my blood pressure and temperature need to be taken so frequently,
especially in the middle of the night? The only bright spot was that my room
had an amazing view of downtown Atlanta.
In any case, we finally got the go ahead to leave the
hospital around 4 o’clock on Monday afternoon. I am incredibly thankful that
Benjamin’s birth—despite some of the set-backs and inconveniences—went so
smoothly and that he came so quickly once true labor got started. Overall, it
wasn’t a bad experience but if I ever get pregnant again (which I don’t intend
to) I think I’m ready to do a homebirth. No more hospitals for me. But at least
I got to come home with one cute little boy.
Edited to Add: I realize this post may come off as whiney especially since my complaints are so minor in the grand scheme of things that could have gone wrong. I recognize my extreme privilege in having such easy and uncomplicated deliveries when so many other women have much different experiences. But I did want to document all the events of Benjamin's birth and my feelings surrounding it which includes a fair bit of whining.
