After graduating from BYU in August of 2005, I moved to Monterey, California to live with my older sister, who I love dearly and who is one of my best friends despite our five year age difference. She had just moved back to California after spending the last five years in Boston and I had decided to take a year off from school to work and relax while I prepared myself for the GRE, grad school applications, and more school. It seemed like the perfect solution to move to a quiet, beachside community in central California to live with Cassy for a year or so. [Of course, she went and got engaged four days after I moved in with her, but that's another story. I still haven't figured out how it happened.]
One of my first Sundays in my new ward, the Presidio of Monterey single's ward, we were having Linger Longer after church. I should briefly mention here that Monterey is home to the Defense Language Institute (DLI) where the military sends all their nerdy intellectual types to learn different languages (Korean, Chinese and Arabic being the most prevalent), hence the ward was largely comprised of military members, with a few "civilians" like myself. It was also a pretty tiny ward, which was a real change of pace from the BYU single's ward I had grown accustomed to in Provo. So there I was, sitting at a table, poking at the hodge-podge of food compiled on my plate, trying to talk and make new friends (thank goodness for Cassy and Monica), when a sudden commotion disrupted the conversations flying about the room.
I looked up to see a skinny little nerd in glasses, his suit jacket pockets and his pants pockets bulging with Motts applesauce cups, running away from a stern Korean sister, who was chastising him for stealing the applesauce and crying out for the Bishop to release him from his calling. (I think she was entirely serious too.) Well, everyone in the ward laughed along as David dodged around the tables, fleeing from Mikyoung's wrath, all the while claiming that the person who had brought the applesauce in the first place had said he could take them.
I'll never forget that first glance of David, pockets bulging with applesauce in the cultural hall in Monterey. David often says that he doesn't make a good first impression, and if his performance on the day in September of 2005 is any indication of the general way people meet David, I'd say it's true. Or at least, he makes a very distinct impression.
Well, after that, David and I had little to no interaction at church or at social functions. We hadn't formally met but I knew who he was and he knew who I was, mostly because he was the Executive Secretary and was a very visible member of the ward. There was one Sunday when he complimented my outfit and told me I looked nice, which completely baffled me because I wasn't much in the habit of being complimented by oblivious guys. I totally thought someone had set him up to say it. (I didn't know then that David has quite the eye for fashion and is anything but oblivious to what women wear. He pays particular attention to shoes and I was wearing my sister's red heels that day.)
Then there was the FHE held at the second counselor's house in February that was all about dating and why we needed to date each other and what both the men and women needed to do on dates, like opening up doors and saying thank you or just saying yes in the first place. I had gotten a ride with Monica, who after FHE, made David come out to the car to give him a box of fruit for his birthday. (I discovered that it was David's birthday....only two days before mine.) David made a big show of opening up the car doors for both of us, which I thought was a comical reaction to FHE's topic. Little did I know that David opens all doors for all females.
[Now I need to have a sidenote to talk about Monica. Monica is our Mexican yenta and has had a hand in marrying off three of the four Hayman children. She was the missionary companion of Elisa, my brother's wife, who moved to Monterey when Elisa moved there to date my brother and was long-suffering and patient in the long drawn-out process that finally got those two married. Then, she was the go-between between my sister Cassy and her girl-shy husband Brigham. And, without Monica's help, David and I would never, not in a million years, have ever started dated. So thank you Monica. My family owes you big time. You should talk to my Dad about getting some type of payment for all your services.]
Anyway, later that week, my sister and I held a dinner party in honor of my 23rd birthday. We were having a fondue party in which all the food was being dipped in something. We had fruit dip and cheese fondue and won tons to be dipped in sweet and sour sauce. We had invited a number of people, many of who were not able to attend. Unbeknownst to both my sister and me, Monica invited David to come to my birthday dinner. After David was assured that this was totally okay (since he didn't even know me!), he asked if he could bring his roommate Jacob (later to be the Best Man at our wedding). Monica said yeah, that'd be great, just bring fruit or something to be dipped in cheese.
So that night, I'm frying up won tons like a madwoman when I heard a knock on our door. I opened up the door and David and Jacob were standing there. After recovering from my shock of seeing these two random people at my door, I let them in and begin to set two extra plates around the table. David then proceeded to take a few items out of grocery bag: some strawberries and a box of herbal tea. We all looked at him and said, "Tea? Why did you bring tea?!?" To which David insisted that Monica had told him to bring something to dip in TEAS. He had even asked her to repeat herself several times on the phone and was convinced she had said TEAS and not CHEESE. He was really confused but didn't want to come empty-handed and so he had bought tea.
We all laughed about his mistake and then sat down to dinner. It was then that I discovered just how humorous David is and he was likewise impressed, probably by the fact that I could cook. (David cannot cook to save his life.) Anyway, that night, interest was piqued on both sides. We talked a little back and forth, but nothing happened until the St. Patrick's Day dance in March.
See, our ward was very tiny, but the activities chairperson insisted on holding a dance for all twenty people who might show up. While I questioned it then, it was the thing David and I needed to finally bring us together. While David didn't come out to a lot of the activities (because he was so busy and stressed out with school), he does happen to be a dancing fool and was very vocal about his excitement for the dance. I was feeling rather sick that night and almost declined to come, but friends convinced me otherwise. David asked me to dance twice, the second time for the last slow song of the night. Afterwards, he asked me if I had any plans the next day (Saturday) and if I wanted to come with a group of people to the movies. I said sure and gave him my phone number. I was keeping a LiveJournal at the time and this is what I wrote about the dance the next day:
The dance last night wasn't so bad. It was a tad lame because there were so few people there and the obligatory bad music, but it still turned out to be an enjoyable night. I was only there for an hour, but I got asked to dance 4 times, twice by the same guy [David] who is a horrible dancer but he does it with such gustso that you can't help but find it endearing. I have a crush on his adorable goofiness. He's hilarious and we have similar senses of humor so its easy to play off him. He's the type of guy I would date for fun.
Oh, how young and innocent I was then. I had no idea what was in store for me. But anyway, like promised, David called me up the next day, gave me the details for the evening's plans, and said he'd come pick me up around 7:30pm. When he came to the door to get me and I got out to the car, David opened the front passenger door for me and I was surprised to find that Jacob and Kimberly (David's two good friends who he drove everywhere) were in the backseat and that the front seat was open for me. (Later I found out that David had kicked Kimberly out of the front seat so that I could sit there. She was not happy about it.) We drove to the movie theater next to the mall and saw the movie 16 Blocks, with Bruce Willis. Afterwards, the group of us (there were 8-10 people that night) went to Starbucks for hot chocolate and then David drove me home. Not 15 minutes after he dropped me off, David texted me with this message: “Thanks for coming with us tonight! I hope you had fun. See you at church. Good night!” Unfortunately, my phone was still on silent and I didn't get the text until the next morning. But that was the beginning. The months to follow before he finally asked me out were certainly interesting ones.
I had no idea then what was in store for the both of us and that that goofy guy with the bulging pockets of applesauce cups, who brought tea instead cheese, who danced horribly with exuberant abandon would be the man that I would marry. All I can say is that it has been a fun ride with David by my side. And maybe soon, I'll chronicle the long and painful process that finally led David to asking me out. Or maybe you'll hear it in his own words. Either way, the whole story is chronicled in my LiveJournal. :-)