How I Became Mrs. Malone, Part VI

Just in time for Valentine's Day, here's the final chapter of How I Became Mrs. Malone (wherein, I actually do become Mrs. Malone.)

When I last left you, I had spent Spring Break in Hawaii, gone to Atlanta in May to meet David's family, and then spent a week in California together in August. After a difficult fall semester (in which I did not get to see David at all), I was very much looking forward to Christmas when I would be reunited with David again. David flew in on Christmas Eve and after a rather low-key Christmas, we spent the day after Christmas shopping for new shoes. (My Christmas present from David. He still really hates the shoes I got that day, but they are comfortable!)

I knew that the engagement was coming and I knew it was coming that night. When you have a long distance relationship, it's really hard to be spontaneous with moments like these. I knew David had the ring--and despite my best efforts, I never did find it--and I knew he did not want to wait a long time before making our engagement official. Not that everyone didn't already know we were getting married. Not that we hadn't already set the date. I'd already ordered my dress (a gorgeous Maggie Sottero ivory lace gown which I love and will love until the day I die), met with the florist, and sampled cakes. All I needed was the ring. The actual proposal was immaterial to me. And I guess I had already gotten my spontaneous and surprising proposal a year and a half before. This time, I was prepared and ready for it. And I finally knew what my answer was going to be.

The night of our engagement.

So the day after Christmas Eve, David and I got all dressed up and went to a quaint Italian restaurant called Osteria Romantica near La Jolla Shores, my favorite beach in San Diego. We had a delicious meal, during which we recounted our entire relationship from the very first moment I saw David with applesauce bulging out of his pockets to the long months of separation that we had endured. After dinner, we went for a walk on the beach. It was a chilly night--as chilly as San Diego gets during the winter--and I was surprised by the number of people still out, having bonfires. We walked until we were far enough away from the other people and David said some really nice things (I was too anxious to really pay attention by this point) and then, against my wishes, David got down on one knee, in the sand, and proposed. I quickly said yes--almost before he had gotten the question out of his mouth--and stuck out my hand for the ring. It was a simple square-cut solitaire with a thin, delicate band, but it was perfect for me. Inside, David had inscribed "uxoriously yours." (Uxorious means excessively devoted to one's wife. I would have loved to have seen the jeweler's face when David requested that.) We drove home to my expectant parents and announced that FINALLY, we were officially engaged, to the shock of no one.

The NEXT day, December 27th, I went to the San Diego temple to take out my endowments for the first time. It was wonderful to have my family there--my mom and dad, grandmother, Jason, my sister-in-law Elisa--and David. Afterwards, we went to my favorite Mexican restaurant, Fidel's, in Solana Beach. The rest of our Christmas break together is a bit of a blur. There were wedding preparations to contend with, engagement photos to take, decisions to be made, etc. I wanted to get as much done as I could while in San Diego since I would not be back until two weeks before the wedding. And though it can be done, it is mighty difficult to plan a wedding in San Diego when you live in Washington D.C. Thank goodness my mother has done this 3 times before and knew just what to do.

One of our engagement photos.

New Year's Eve was not as eventful. David and I had both gotten sick and we just laid around all night. I'm not even sure if we were able to make it to midnight before falling asleep. On January 3rd, both David and I flew to Chicago and then I boarded a plane headed for DCA (Reagan airport) and David got on one for BWI (Baltimore). David had finally managed to get enrolled in a language training class near Fort Meade for 5 weeks, which meant that he was now only an hour away from me. We spent as much time together as we could. He would borrow the rental car assigned to him and the other girl attending the class to come see me during the weekdays while I would take the commuter train up to BWI on the weekends and then we would rent a car and travel around. We went to Mt. Vernon, Gunston Hall, the Baltimore Aquarium (and ate at Roy's for the first time, which has become one of my favorite restaurants), made several trips to the D.C. temple, ate at Chipotle's approximately 10 times(since there none in Hawaii), went on a tour of the West Wing (compliments of my friend Jen who worked at the White House), and visited Old Town Alexandria. Over Martin Luther King, Jr. Day weekend, David and I rented a car and drove up to New Jersey to see Jason and Elisa. (Luckily, David and Jason get along really well because they both share a love of Legos and Star Wars.) We drove into New York City on Saturday and did a session at the Manhattan temple, went to the top of the Empire State Building, and then visited Times Square. It was my third time to NYC and David's first but I think you could spend your life there and never see everything worth seeing. Still, I like my NYC in small doses.

Me David, Elisa and Jason on the top of the Empire State Building

While David was tackling Korean during the day, I had just started my last semester of grad school which included an internship at the Smithsonian's National Museum of American History. I worked with a curator in the Music, Sports and Entertainment department to assist her with the publication of a new book on the museum's collection of puppets. I spent time researching, organizing and re-cataloguing the collection and untangling string after tangled string of 100 year old puppets to be photographed for the book. I did, however, get on a first name basis with Kermit the Frog, Howdy Doody and Charlie McCarthy. Oscar was there too but he really is a grouch. (Just kidding...)

At the Smithsonian with Howdy Doody, Kermit and Charlie McCarthy.

I also had a class on race in America (which ended up being one of my favorite and most thought-provoking classes even though it was the one most outside of my academic comfort zone) and a class about vernacular architecture (loved the subject, HATED the professor).

We spent our birthdays together and then David flew back to Hawaii on February 9th, the day after my birthday. We went back to our long distance lives, me busy with school, work and my internship and David with work and his first semester back at school. I wanted to go to Hawaii for Spring Break again, but the tickets were incredibly expensive and so I opted to go to Utah for Spring Break to visit my sister and do research on a paper I was writing for my vernacular architecture class on Mormon tabernacles. I flew into Denver, where Cassy had been visiting friends, on March 14 and then we drove back to Utah together, stopping in East Carbon to visit my grandmother, grandfather, and my parents and sister Bobbi, who were also in Utah that weekend. It was the last time I saw my Grandpa before he died in October.

Salt Lake Assembly Hall, Temple Square

While in Utah, I visited a bunch of tabernacles (Brigham City, Bountiful, Salt Lake, Provo, and Heber) and went through a temple session in Provo and Salt Lake (so gorgeous inside!), did research, visited family, ate at all my favorite places, and played with my absolutely adorable nephew.

The absolutely adorable nephew helping me research at the Bountiful Tabernacle.

I flew back to D.C. on March 21st, and got down to the business of graduating. I turned in my application for graduation, studied, took, and passed my comprehensive exams, and finished all my coursework (though I cut it close this semester). My friends threw me a bridal shower and my high school friend Whitney was able to come, having come down from Massachusetts to visit that weekend, which was a real treat.


I graduated on May 16, and my parents had flown in that day, while Jason and Elisa drove down from New Jersey. We spent the rest of the week exploring. I took them on a tour of the American History museum, we visited monuments and memorials, the Masonic temple in Alexandria, the Udvar-Hazy extension of the Air and Space Museum, went to several baseball games, and visited some Civil War battlefields. My parents left on May 22nd. I spent the next two days packing, shipping my books and other belongings to Hawaii, and saying good-bye to friends and then I left D.C. for good on May 24th.

Family photo with Kermit.

I had two weeks until the wedding and one week until I would see David again. There were details to finalize, dress fittings, another bridal shower to attend, and some freaking out to do. I wasn't really worried about getting married at this point, but more stressed with getting everything organized and arranged, with all the friends and family coming in for the wedding, balancing between spending time with my family and with David's, who were all flying in (minus one sister) from Atlanta for the occasion. We got our marriage license, went to the Wild Animal Park, went to a Padres game, had tuxedos fitted and us girls had our nails done. And then, it was the day before my wedding. All the days leading up to June 6th are now a big blur of activity. I can't even recall how I felt, if I was nervous or anxious or just excited.

Me with my bridesmaids: Jen, Cassy, me, Bobbi and Kara

I woke up the next morning, did my hair and makeup, and my mother and I drove to the temple together where we met David and Jacob a little before 10am (they spent the night at my grandparents' house). David and I were whisked away to be attended by many different people and we were finally brought in the sealing room at 11 am. I wish I could remember what Brother Kirby said (I know there a something about our children) but all I remember is looking at my friends and family watching, some of them crying (Kara!), and then being told that I could kiss David and thinking he was just a little too enthusiastic about that. After the ceremony was completed, we were able to greet all our guests and then we went outside to take pictures in my gorgeous, beautiful wedding dress. (My dad even told me that of all the wedding dresses worn by his daughters, mine was his favorite.)


After all the photos were taken, David and I checked into our hotel at the La Jolla Hyatt and then drove back to my parent's house were we had an informal early dinner for close friends and family on the back deck. We had Mexican food, catered by the best little taco shop in Poway, El Ranchito. I really wanted to have a dinner with just my close friends because I knew I wouldn't get much of a chance to talk to them during the reception. After everyone was done eating, my mom proposed a toast, which took most of the participants a little by surprise. So after chatting with everyone, and helping to clean up, David and I drove back to La Jolla, to our fancy little hotel room, to spend our first night as husband and wife. (I'll spare you the details.)

We came back to my parent's house in the afternoon and David and I took Jen and Jacob (the maid of honor and best man, respectively) out to lunch at Mimi's Cafe and then returned home to help with the last minute reception details. David, however, had to finish a paper for one of his classes, so I helped while he worked on that downstairs. Of course, we were both late getting ready for the reception and we ended up being 15 minutes late (I hate not being punctual). The reception was held at Templar's Hall in Old Poway Park and it's a beautiful location for a wedding reception. The centerpieces consisted of brown urns filled with purple and white flowers on top of a stack of antique books. I called the theme of my reception "literary romance."

The centerpieces.

We had a beautiful cake and cupcakes, lots of fresh fruit, sandwiches, salad, and pink lemonade. We danced our first song to "Blue Eyes" by Carey Brothers, but I forgot to toss my bouquet. It was a beautiful reception, though not a terribly fancy one, but I mostly enjoyed getting to wear my dress and talking to all the guests who had come to wish us well.

My high school friends: Nicole, Kara, me, and Tessa

After cleaning up and saying our final good-byes to friends and family (who we most likely would not see again), David and I drove up to my parent's cabin in the Palomar Mountains where we spent the next two nights. We came home, packed up all our belongings and then flew to Oahu together on Monday, June 9th and I saw my new home for the first time. (For the record, David did carry me over the threshold.) The next day we flew to the Big Island where we spent the next four days at Hawaii Volcanoes National Park. We hiked into the volcano, trekked through a lava tube, saw breathtaking waterfalls, went swimming on a black sand beach, and visited the only historic house on the island. I even built an entire puzzle by myself while David wrote his last paper for his class. :-) It was a wonderful honeymoon and a great start to our marriage.



I can't believe it's been eight months already. It's certainly always entertaining being married to David and the next two years that we'll spend living in South Korea will certainly be quite the adventure. Thanks for letting me share our story with you. I'm sure you'll get to hear lots more about our adventures together as they happen.

How I Became Mrs. Malone, Part V

Recap: David and I have been dating for one year; eleven months of that long distance. We spent Christmas and Spring Break together. May--and David's sister's wedding--is fast approaching. Also, I hope David will return to continue to "set the record straight." David seems to have some problems with the way I'm telling this story, even though I think I'm making him out to be a saint...

I failed to mention one very important thing about the time between Christmas and when I saw David again in March: I almost broke up with him. I even wrote out a really long letter about how we needed to take "a break" (yeah, like that ever works) but I never sent it and I never brought it up in our daily conversations (which had grown shorter and shorter by the day). David could tell that something was wrong and I knew he could tell but I really didn't know what to do. I didn't want to give up my relationship with David, him being my best friend and confidante, but I didn't know if I still wanted to be his girlfriend or possibly even his wife. It was a miserable time, for both of us. I had already planned my trip to Hawaii and so I resolved that if I was to break up with David, I would do it in person. (Which would have been really awkward if it happened at the beginning of my trip, but luckily, as soon as I was with David again, I knew breaking up would be a mistake.) I wish I knew why I had all these serious doubts then and several times throughout our two year relationship but I have no idea. It always seemed to be a battle between my heart and my mind. My heart was telling me that David was the one, but my mind was only focusing on all the reasons why we shouldn't be together. (I have thankfully gotten over all of those issues.)

By May, however, our relationship was as strong as ever, as I prepared to meet David's entire family in Atlanta. I flew into Atlanta on Wednesday, May 9, and David picked me up (he had arrived a few days prior) and we drove to his older sister Fiona's house to spend the night. The next day, David and I took his youngest sister Kristy with us to the Georgia Aquarium and the Martin Luther King Memorial. I was then brought to David's home to meet the future in-laws. (Talk about nerve-wracking.) David and I grew up in two very different families and environments and while I knew all that from our many conversations, it was another thing to actually witness it in person. I was definitely out of my element--I had no idea what to talk about--but his family was very welcoming and I was put at ease. It helped, of course, that everyone was preoccupied with Lorann's wedding and didn't have much time to focus on me.

Lorann and Matt were married on Friday, May 11th and that occupied our entire day. Our next three days in Atlanta were spent watching TV/movies with David's family, meeting a whole bunch of David's friends, and going through David's old stuff in the shed. We both flew back to D.C. together on Monday, May 14th and David stayed for a week. (It was our first time on a plane together. I loved getting to sleep on David's shoulder.) The majority of the week in D.C. was spent dragging David to all my favorite D.C. attractions: the National Archives, Building Museum, Portrait Gallery, American Art Museum, Chinatown, Ford's Theater, the Lincoln monument, the Holocaust Museum, DAR Museum, Library of Congress, Union Station, and the National Cathedral. We also did a bit of ring shopping and I introduced David to all my D.C. friends. On Saturday, we rented a car and drove out to Shenandoah National Park to do some hiking. It is absolutely gorgeous there.



We have a tradition in my family of buying Christmas ornaments from all the places we visit (my mom has ornaments from around the world) and so David and I started the tradition for ourselves by purchasing our first ornament together at Shenandoah.

On Sunday, I cooked wontons (I really love those things!) for all my roommates, friends, and Jacob [remember him? David's old roommate? he lives in Maryland now] to spend more time with David and to say good-bye. The next afternoon, I took David to the airport, said my tearful good-byes and returned to my lonely long-distance life. By this point, I was pretty sure that David was the one that I wanted to marry, but every so often, I would be stricken with immense doubt. To be clear, I never doubted for a second that David would be a wonderful husband and father but I did doubt myself, all the time. Was I ready to get married? Could I be a good wife to David? Was there someone better? I couldn't think of anyone better than David but at the same time, I couldn't understand why, after all this time, I didn't have an absolute certainty that David was the right choice. (For the record, that moment never came. And I don't think it comes for a lot of people. Marriage is the absolute biggest leap of faith that you will ever take. But I eventually found the faith I needed to dive right in.)

The summer passed rather quickly. I was doing an internship at a historic house in Georgetown and enjoying my summer respite from homework and papers. My parents came out to visit in July and we drove up to New Jersey to see my brother and his wife and then we all went to Palmyra for the annual Book of Mormon pageant there. I felt that my parents hadn't really embraced David yet or maybe they were just living in denial about the state of my relationship and the fact that their baby was growing up. But, while waiting for the pageant to start, my mom and I started discussing wedding plans and I tentatively set my wedding date for June 6th, which was still a whole year away. After that, I knew my mom was on board, but my dad still needed convincing.

At the end of July, David bought a condo in Hawaii. He didn't really consult me in the decision, but it seemed to do the trick with my dad. Somehow the fact that my prospective husband owned property--and in Hawaii, no less--impressed my father. Thereafter, he seemed to warm up to the idea that David was sticking around.

Near the end of August, I flew to Salt Lake to visit my sister Cassy (and mother, who was there with my sister) and meet my new nephew James who is the most adorable boy ever.


See? Adorable. He's almost two years old now, but he only gets cuter as he ages. He also looks like a 3 year old now. Anyway, Mom, Cassy, and I went to a few stores to try on wedding dresses because I figured I might as well look while I was in Utah, home of the modest wedding dress. I found a few that I liked but none that I really loved. After spending the weekend with my sister, I flew home to San Diego and met David, who had flown in from Hawaii to spend the week with me.

We spent some time with my parents and then borrowed my mother's car and drove up to Monterey to re-visit where all the magic had happened and to see the few friends we still had there, including Monica, who kindly let us crash at her place. We visited some of our favorite spots in Monterey--we even went back to the Rock of Confession and had a long conversation there about the course our relationship had taken--and played miniature golf. See, David and I had been trying to go mini golfing for like a year but Oahu's only course shut down and we never had time in Atlanta or D.C. So yes, we mini golfed.


Here we are at Lover's Point. After two days in Monterey, we drove up to San Francisco to visit my friends Tessa and Nicole. We went out to dinner and then Nicole let us sleep at her place before we headed home for San Diego the next day. It was a whirlwind trip but it was fun to go on our first road trip together (and to discover that we could spent 8 hours in a car together and not want to kill each other) and to see old friends and reminisce. David and I spent a few more days together before we parted for our separate ends of the country. [I normally wrote down everything that we did together, but I didn't for this trip, so the details are fuzzy.]

We planned on seeing each other again in November, when David was supposed to come to Fort Meade near Baltimore for a 5 week language training course. I was absolutely thrilled that we'd get to spend so much time together in one chunk but alas, the military, as it often does, decided to change its mind and David's trip was cancelled which meant that we wouldn't see each other again until Christmas Eve. I tried to be philosophical about it but it wasn't the best time to be disappointed. San Diego had nearly burnt to the ground in October--and my best friend's family lost their home--and then my aunt, my mom's sister, passed away. All I wanted was to have David close by and since there was nothing we could do about the distance between us, I tried to focus on school and on not having a mental breakdown.

Somehow, I survived the semester and joyously left D.C. to fly home to California. I was looking forward to seeing David for the first time in 4 months and finally getting a ring to put on my finger....but since this installment is already so dang long (why am I incapable of brevity?) the story of our engagement and wedding will be the next and, I hope, final chapter of this never-ending saga. But I'm making no promises.

How I Became Mrs. Malone, Part IV

To recap: After a long waiting period, David and I finally had our first date on May 2nd, 2006. By May 31st, he had left for Hawaii. I was preparing to move to Washington D.C in August.

Part IV: The First Year Apart

Near the end of July, I packed up my meager belongings into the back of my green pick-up truck and headed home to San Diego for a brief stay before flying to Hawaii to visit David for 10 days. [Incidentally my Ford Ranger, which I had driven on and off since high school, was called David by my family. The name was taken from the movie Sabrina with Audrey Hepburn; my sisters' car was called Sabrina, my mother's was Linus and mine was David. Coincidence or fate? You be the judge.) My parents were not entirely thrilled that I was going all the way to Hawaii to visit a boy. Of course they didn't know yet how far the relationship had already progressed. And I figured that if my brother went all the way to Puerto Rico to meet a girl for the FIRST time (his now-wife) then going to Hawaii to see my boyfriend of three months wasn't that big of a deal. But parents will always be parents.

So on Wednesday July 26, I flew to Honolulu. I was apprehensive and anxious to see David again after two months apart. Of course, we had talked on the phone every day, sometimes for 4-5 hours each day, but there's a big difference between talking to a person and being with a person. David met me at the airport with a beautiful purple flower lei. At first, I almost didn't recognize him and it was a tad awkward. But the awkwardness quickly wore away as we drove to his one bedroom apartment in Mililani. He had just moved into his new place and he had no furniture besides a kitchen table, bed, and dresser. Instead, David had filled the entire living room with index cards. Each card--one for every day that we had been apart--had something different written on them in various colors of crayon. June 8: I miss you! June 28: I love your bone structure! June 15: I'm addicted to you! July 5: I thank God everyday for you! June 13: I adore your femininity! July 16: I love how nerdy you are! June 11: You're so smart! June 4: Wo ai ni. ["I love you" in Chinese, though David wrote the actual Chinese characters.] Of course, I kept those index cards.

David worked on Thursday and Friday that week but he took leave the next week so that we could do all the touristy things together. We went to Pearl Harbor and the Arizona memorial, ate dim sum in Chinatown, walked through Waikiki, ate delicious Dole Whip [pineapple sherbet] at the Dole Plantation, went swimming in Waimea Bay and snorkeling in North Shore, hiked Diamond Head, visited the Honolulu Zoo and Waikiki Aquarium (both tiny!!!) and the Honolulu Academy of Arts (which has a surprisingly large and varied collection), ate shaved ice, and went to the movies. Mostly, we just enjoyed spending time together and talking. The day before I was set to fly home, David told me that he had his heart set on me and that he'd wait for me. I was a wreck on the plane ride home. I was sad to be leaving David, especially since I didn't know when I'd see him again but also torn between feelings of great love and almost doomed certainty that this relationship couldn't last the two years it would take me to get my master's.

Four days after leaving Hawaii, on August 9, I got back on a plane, this time headed for Washington, D.C. I was completely overwhelmed when I first arrived. I had never moved someplace where I did not know a single person. My sister's brother-in-law lived in Maryland (and he kindly picked me up from the airport and drove me to my new home) but other than that, I knew no one. (Until my best friend Jen moved there in January.) I was extremely thankful for David though. Even though he wasn't there with me, David was understanding and sympathetic, always willing to listen to me whine and complain and stress out. It was a great comfort to have someone to figuratively hold my hand while I embarked on this new and extremely scary chapter of my life.

Of all the things I have done in my life, and the answers I've sought through prayer, moving to D.C. and attending to grad school was something that I absolutely knew I needed to do. I don't know why--even now--but I never doubted that I was supposed to be right where I was at that point in my life. This certainty was confirmed to me by the wonderful circumstances I had landed myself in. I found a wonderfully large room to rent in a wonderfully spacious house in Alexandria, Virginia with four very wonderful women. (Well, seven by the time I left. Three girls left in the time I lived there and were replaced by equally wonderful women.) I learned a tremendous amount from them and I know I couldn't have survived my two years in D.C. without such a supportive group of friends.

I didn't start class for another month, so I spent most of August unpacking my belongings, getting to know my new roommates, exploring D.C's many attractions, and looking for part-time work. By the end of August, I had found a part-time job with a debt collections lawyer in Farragut West only a few blocks from GW's campus. It wasn't a terribly exciting job--nor one that paid well--but it was enough to meet my living expenses and it offered a very flexible schedule which I needed for school. Meanwhile, David and I tried to adjust to the distance between us. Not only were we now 6,000 miles apart, but we had to contend with a 5 or 6 hour time difference (Hawaii doesn't do daylight savings time) which made finding a good time to talk rather difficult.

But on September 9, I received a package that changed my life. Okay, our lives. David sent me a "going back to school" care package which included a movie, Flintstones vitamins (to keep my bones nice and healthy), Care Bear band-aids, kleenex, post-in notes, a book of Sudoku puzzles, a tiara, gum, chapstick, dried mango and mostly importantly, a webcam. For any person out there who may be considering a long-distance relationship, webcams are an absolute must. Once we finally got both of our webcams to work, David and I would conduct all our conversations in front of the camera. I truly believe that the only reason that our relationship withstood the two years apart was because we could see each other over the webcam. I could tell when David got a haircut or compliment him on a new shirt, but most of all, we could see facial expressions and share every facet of our lives with each other, even though we couldn't physically be there.

The rest of the time between September through December was relatively uneventful though we did celebrate our 6-month anniversary on November 2nd. I was extremely busy with classes and trying to not feel like an idiot. If you've ever been to grad school--or if you've ever considered going--you should know that for the first two months, you will feel like the biggest idiot known to man. I was so out of my league and pretty dang intimidated by all my professors and fellow students, particularly the Ph.D. candidates. But then, suddenly, I wasn't stupid anymore. I actually found out that I can be somewhat intelligent from time to time. The time seemed to pass very slowly, but finally, the semester ended, and I flew home to San Diego for Christmas.

David joined my family for Christmas that year and we got to spend two weeks together. I took him all around San Diego and we also went to Disneyland because David had never been. He also got to meet most of my family (at least on my Dad's side), who approved, for the most part. I think it took awhile for my dad especially to accept David.

Our first Christmas together. At my grandparents' house.

I remember two things from that Christmas. One, that David bought me a beautiful diamond necklace and two, that my family took family photos that year. While I had already informed my parents that I was 95% sure that David and I were going to get married, my mother wasn't taking any chances so she had the photographer take pictures with David and without David. I understood why my mother insisted on that--what if it didn't work out and we always had family photos with this random guy?--but I'm glad we've got the pictures now of all four kids with all of their spouses. (Especially since we haven't all been together since that Christmas.)

Family photo without David.

Family photo with David.

Spending Christmas and New Year's with David was such a treat that it made the rest of January that we spent apart very miserable. It was especially hard to spend our birthdays apart in February. But in March, I made the VERY long journey from D.C. to Hawaii for Spring Break. David didn't take the time off work this time, so I worked on my research papers and caught up on my reading while he was at work. I was there for 10 days and while there, we hiked to Makapuu Lighthouse, went swimming at Bellows AFB (still my favorite beach here), went bowling, walked around Waikiki and went ocean kayaking which left me with the worst sunburn of my life. I also went to Pearl Harbor again and to the Bishop Museum one day while David was at work.

I returned to D.C. to finish out my most successful semester of school (straight A's!) and looked forward (with a tiny bit of apprehensive) to May, when I was flying to Atlanta to meet David's family for the first time for his sister's wedding. That story, and the next year of our dating relationship will be up next.

P.S. This story is turning out to be much MUCH longer than I had expected, but I wanted to write it all down anyway to put in my journal. But I thought I might as well share all of it with those of you who still might find it somewhat interesting. :-)

How I Became Mrs. Malone, Part III

Part III, for those who are still reading at home. This could be subtitled, "The Month in Monterey."

To recap: After weeks and weeks of waiting and frustration, David and I finally had our first date on Tuesday, May 2nd. We were "together," a couple, from then on. We saw each other every single day from the first date until David left for Hawaii on May 31st.

So on Thursday, May 4th, I cooked David dinner and he told me he loved me. (Not because of the food. I don't remember what I made but I'm pretty sure it wasn't all that spectacular.) I said "I love you" back. It was quick, yes, but there had been so much "relationship foreplay," as David calls it, that we were already way past all that first date crap and we knew each well enough to say those words. David is the first and only man I've ever said that to.

On Saturday, May 6th, David and I went down to Cannery Row and ate a meal of savory and sweet crepes. We went back to my apartment, which was thankfully empty since my sister was gone for the weekend, visiting her own husband who was in Arizona, and we sat on our tiny little love seat to talk. And then David got all quiet and I asked what he was thinking. And before the synapses in my brain could process what was happening, David had gotten on one knee in front of my couch and was proposing. To me. After five days. Marriage.

To say I freaked out would be an understatement. I didn't scream "NO!" in his face (though that was, admittedly, my first gut reaction) but I said I'd think about it, pray and fast about it. So after talking a bit more, David left, leaving me to contemplate marriage with a man I'd barely just begun to date. I was in agony all night. I knew in my gut that I couldn't say yes (and not just because I had already accepted my admission to GWU). I knew there were people out there who made decisions about marriage in even less time and without knowing their prospective spouses nearly as well as I now knew David. And I knew plenty of people who had had short courtships and who had wonderful, fulfilling, and loving marriages. (My sister for one, although her marriage was still young at that point.) But I knew--had always known--that I was not one of those people. I had always felt that I would date my future husband for at least a year, mostly because I knew that I could be a hard person to love and I wanted him to be absolutely certain that he knew what he was getting himself into when he picked me to be his wife. And yet some crazy person wanted to marry me after just a few dates.

All Saturday night I fretted about what to say to David. I called my friend Jen and freaked out with her. I think she was laughing the whole time. You know, on the inside. I finally managed to fall asleep but as soon as I woke up Sunday morning, I was once again pained with the realization that I would either have to say yes to David or end the relationship. Somehow, in my mind, I thought that saying "no" would mean that our new and burgeoning relationship would instantly be over. I didn't think that David would be satisfied with a "No, not yet. But maybe someday..." type of answer. So it was all or nothing. Since church didn't start until 2:30, I had all morning and most of the afternoon to stress out.

I got to church a few minutes early and ran into David in the cultural hall. I was absolutely dreading this moment. But David simply grabbed my hand, said hello and kissed me. And that was it. He didn't ask me what my answer was and he didn't feel the need to press the issue. And so we walked into the chapel hand-in-hand to announce our couplehood to the whole gossipy ward. And what a sensation it was.

Do you remember Paul, the socially awkward stalker who was in love with me? Well, during Sacrament, who but Paul should happen to pass us the bread and witness David and I sitting together, holding hands. Neither David or I could look him in the eye and at the end of the passing of the bread and water, Paul sat down in a pew on the opposite side of the chapel from us. But we could still hear him muttering to his friend something to the effect of: "What the @#*&! She's holding hands with David Malone!" Monica, who was sitting only a few benches behind him had a very good laugh. After Sacrament was over, before heading to the Bishop's office, David kissed me again, and our fate was sealed. Everyone in the whole ward now knew we were a couple.

Even though David hadn't asked for my answer, the question of marriage was still out there, hanging over our heads. On May 9th, our one week anniversary, David took me to Isabella's, a seafood restaurant right on Fisherman's Wharf for a delicious dinner (I got grilled salmon, the only fish I really like), and we then drove up into the mountains, away from the city lights, to star gaze from the hood of David's car. As we were lying there, staring up at the stars, David brought up the topic of marriage. He didn't ask what I thought about marrying him, but what I thought about marriage in general. And having been tricked into it, I told him honestly that I was not ready for marriage yet. So David got his answer: not a "no, not you" but a "no, not yet." And he was fine with that.

David and I have since discussed (repeatedly) why he felt so inspired to ask me to marry him so early into our relationship. David really would be the better person to explain himself (I keep pestering him to write something!) but it basically boils down to this: we had only a month to establish a relationship before we would be separated. And while I wasn't on board yet (not a week into our relationship), David was thinking long-term. He wanted to marry me and he was willing to make it work, even long-distance. In fact, he knew he wanted to marry me before he asked me out on our first date. And in order for our relationship to have a fighting chance, he needed to make me understand that he was in this to marry me. Otherwise, I think I would have said good-bye to David on May 31st, never seen him again, and always wondered what could have been.

With marriage now on both of our minds, the next three weeks together were certainly entertaining and memorable. On May 12th, we went to a big gala held at the Monterey Bay Aquarium for all the volunteers. I had started volunteering at the Aquarium on the weekends when I first arrived in Monterey and it was a very rewarding experience, not only because I got to spend a lot of time there but because I learned a lot about marine animals, which was, once upon a time, my first dream job. (I wanted to be a marine biologist from about the age of 9 to 13.) I have been to aquariums all around the United States (San Diego, Boston, Waikiki, Atlanta, and Baltimore) and none of them compare to Monterey. We ate a delicious meal of spicy lamb and salad in front of the tuna and jellyfish in the outer bay aquarium and sampled desserts in front of tiger sharks and swordfish. The aquarium was beautiful at night and I loved being able to take my new boyfriend with me. Plus I was wearing a new outfit bought just for the occasion.

That Sunday--on Mother's Day--both David and I told our mothers that we were seeing each other. Now, I probably would have put off this conversation for quite some time if it hadn't have been for the fact that my own mother was coming up to Monterey for a visit that very week. I'd already given David a "friend test" the day before Mother's Day by dragging him up to San Francisco to meet my friend Nicole who lived there. (We were going up anyway to go to the Oakland temple...I thought we should go across the Bay and have lunch with my friends who lived there, but only Nicole was available that night.) Getting friend approval is a much different thing than having your brand-new boyfriend meet your mother for the first time only two weeks after you start dating. But David, being the understanding person that he is--and already crazy enough to think he wanted to marry me--was not terribly nervous. My mother mostly observed us together but didn't grill David for information. Of course, we had only been dating for 2 weeks and my mother probably had no idea how serious our relationship already was. (I told no one about the proposal.)

When I asked my mother later what she thought of David, all she said was something to the effect of, "I was surprised to see how much you cuddled. I worried that you'd never be in a relationship because you never liked being touched." Well thanks Mom. But it was a bit true. I'd never been a touchy-feely person until David came along. (I still hate getting hugs by people I barely know....which is hard in Hawaii since a hug and a cheek kiss is practically the standard greeting procedure. Freaks. Me. Out.)

Anyway, the mom meeting over with no hiccups, David and I had a little over a week and a half left together. We spent every minute we could together, talking, going to movies, helping friends move, visiting the Farmer's Market and going to ward bonfires on the beach. [I don't have time here, but someone must remind me to tell the Double Scoops Malone story. It still embarrasses David to this day. And he's so adorable when he blushes.] The last Sunday David was in California, May 28th, I made a big dinner (won tons, of course) for all our friends. Wednesday, May 31st, I took the day off work and helped David pack up the remainder of his belongings, cooked him some brunch, and then drove him to the tiny airport in Monterey, where we said our final goodbyes. I handled it pretty well....I didn't start crying until I got home.

So it was a whirlwind first month, but by the end of it, I knew enough about David to be sure that I could marry him. It only took me another year to finally admit it to myself.

At this point, you may be thinking to yourself, "Holy crap, we're only up to the first month of a two year relationship? Will this story never end?!?" Well don't worry, the next two years can be condensed quite a bit....hopefully into one part. Unless David pops up to defend himself. Then who knows how long it will take...

How I Came to Be Mrs. Malone Part II

Since I did keep a pretty faithful journal during the months leading up to our first date, I could probably give you a day-by-day account of the time between that St. Patrick's Day dance and May 2nd, our first date. I'll try not to bore you with the details. I realize, in retrospect, that the time it took between our birthdays and David asking me out was not that long, but it seemed like an eternity to me.

After those first few meetings, I was interested in David, but as nothing more than a fun person to date. I was certainly not looking for anything serious because I knew David would be leaving Monterey soon to move to Hawaii, and I was planning on going to graduate school. In fact, it was the week after our group outing to the movies that I got my acceptance letter from GWU and decided to move to Washington, D.C. But still, I could not get David off my mind. I did things I had never done before. I would call to talk or invite him to hang out. I would text him. I would approach him first. I had never, ever had the courage to do this with any boy before and that, in of itself, should have been some clue to me that this was more than just a passing fancy. But lucky for me, I didn't see things that way. Otherwise, I would have packed up camp and run far, far away and never have talked to David again. (This probably explains why I didn't date much at BYU.)

In any case, over the next few weeks, David and I would text back and forth. (I wasn't the proficient texter then as I am now. It would take me five minutes to type out some short response. David would respond five seconds later with a lengthy novel. But I caught on quick.) I found ways to be involved in activities I knew David would participate in. I created events to invite him to. And I also second-guessed myself and over-analyzed every little thing that David said. On the one hand, I was pretty sure that David like me too, but on the other hand, he would not ask me out.

On March 29, my sister and I held a "Something on a Stick" dinner party. Everything we served--from shish kabobs, to fuit kabobs, to carmel apples, Popsicles, and cheese on toothpicks--was on a stick. We loved having dinner parties and this particular party was held as much for the actual food as for the chance it gave me to invite David over for dinner. The night of the party, David stayed for over an hour after everyone had left, to help clean and to talk.

The next two weeks were excruciating for me because I hardly heard or saw David at all. I didn't really realize it at the time, but David was prepping to take the DLPT, the massive language test that every linguist has to pass in order to leave DLI and actually start working. It's a huge deal and quite a number of people fail. If you fail after two chances, you're out of luck and get re-assigned to another job. So big, massive, life-changing test. Hence, I was in misery, waiting for David to call me, while he was in misery trying to pass this test.

In that time, I got asked out by another guy in the ward who I had gone on one date with before. While he was somewhat socially awkward and often forgot my name (he called me Cassy on numerous occasions), I didn't see any reason to turn him down. I even thought it might be a good hint for David that he should ask me out since he was not the only boy around. So on April 8th, as I was getting ready for this date, I FINALLY got a call from David, asking if I wanted to hang out. I regretfully declined, told him all about my date, and we then proceeded to talk for 45 minutes until my date showed up and I hung up on David in a hurry.

The next day--Sunday--I proceeded to throw myself at David and while we did eventfully end up hanging out that night, I felt like a complete and utter fool for all my efforts. However, the next night at FHE, my stalker [Paul, a very awkward young man who got it in his head that he was in love with me and would not leave me alone] came up to me and told me that I was "glowing" at church the day before. I wrote this in my journal that night:

"So I glow. And I know why. And my cat knows why. And I hope David knows why because he's the reason I'm glowing. But I couldn't tell Paul that the reason I'm glowing is because I have a crush/non-crush (emphasis on the crush) on David and that honestly part of the reason that I like David, besides the fact that he's so funny and gentlemenly and adorable, is because he's nice to Paul which is a difficult thing to do and that most people (including myself) are not so good at. I told him that ever since I got into George Washington, things have just been looking up for me
and I've been happier, which is true. But at glowed at church because of David. I glowed. And maybe only freakish ex-stalkers saw it, but maybe, just maybe, David noticed too and liked what he saw."

There was little further interaction with David until Easter weekend, when he again called me to hang out but my sister and I were driving down to San Diego so I understandably couldn't make it. While home that weekend, though, I ended up calling David just to talk and we chatted for about two hours. The next Wednesday after Easter (April 19), I called up David to invite him over for dinner on Saturday because we had invited the missionaries over and needed another male to be there too. We ended up talking for 5 hours that night. (He had just finished taking his DLPT that day so he was in a very good mood. He found out the next day that he had passed.) Even though it was a great 5 hour conversation, I had somehow convinced myself in the course of our conversation that David would never ask me out.

Saturday night, David came over for dinner. Afterwards, we were trying to think of something to do but it was getting late and all the options were swiftly dwindling. Then my sister announced that we had to leave because she needed to prepare her Relief Society lesson for the next day and she needed peace and quiet. David and I went out to his car and started to drive aimlessly. Again, from my journal:

"So we drove down to Asilomar, which is a beautiful and more deserted section of the peninsula, right on the coast and we walked down to the beach, and climbed on the rocks, and looked at the stars (we never did find Orion) and hunted for frogs who were hiding out in the rocks. Eventually, we just sat down on a little rock [I now call this rock the "Rock of Confession"]together and talked. Obviously, we were very close together and although we were touching (arms, elbows, knees) at several points, he never tried to get closer. His face was right there and it was so tempting just to lean over the 10 inches and….well, it never happened. Because I believe the guy should make the first move and because he would never do it, regardless of whether or not he does like me, which is still up for debate. So we sat and talked and it grew colder and colder until I couldn’t feel my toes and poor David was probably half frozen because he didn’t even have a jacket. He drove me home and we sat in his car and talked for a little while before he went around to open my door and walked up to my apartment door because he’s a well-taught Southern boy. We talked for a little longer on the doorstep (and conversations on any doorstep at any time with any person are always awkward) until I opened the door and said goodnight. So, by that time it was 2 am and I texted him to say “thanks, I had a good time and good night” and then fell asleep. "

The next Monday, after FHE, David and I ended up sitting in the church parking lot until midnight, just talking. Again, there was no physical contact, there was no asking out on dates. By this time, we were seeing each other more and more and talking quite often, but I still had no idea what David was thinking or if he was even going to ask me out at all. It was around this time, at the end of April, that I was getting frustrated with all the waiting. I was sure that there was mutual affection on both our sides, but David still had not asked me out and time was dwindling. I was ready to give up and just walk away. And then Sunday happened.

Sunday, April 30th I was looking cute. I got to church and saw that David's normal pew was empty and I decided to sit there and wait for him to come into the chapel. I don't know what possessed me to sit there. I just did, even though I thought about getting up and moving 50 times. David finally came in, sat down next to me, started chatting with me, but I knew something was wrong. He found excuses to go talk to other people, he wouldn't look at me. It was SO painfully awkward and uncomfortable. I knew that David didn't want me there. I didn't want to be there either once I realized how much David did not want me being there, like I was trespassing onto his property and I didn't have permission to be there, but he was too nice to tell me to leave. I thought of getting up to go to the bathroom and not returning. I thought of just moving. I thought of feigning some illness and just leaving church all together. But no, I had to just keep sitting there for all those sixty plus miserable minutes. As soon as Sacrament Meeting was over, David bolted and I was done. I couldn't do it any more. All this time I thought David and I were growing close, becoming friends, more than friends. But in one Sunday, I had wrecked everything. I didn't understand what happened, but I knew I had done something wrong. And I figured that was sign that I needed to let me know that I was wasting my time with David and so by the end of the day, I had decided whatever it was that we had was over.

I'd rather that David tell his side of the story of what happened that night, but apparently, my sitting next to him in church was just the kick in the pants that he needed to finally make up his mind about me. And he resolved that night--just as I had given up all hope--to ask me out, which he did the next night after FHE.

On Tuesday, May 2nd, David and I went on our first date. He picked me up and we went to California Pizza Kitchen for dinner. Afterwards, we ended up at Starbucks where we ordered a hot chocolate and David pulled out a few coloring books and Crayons that he had purchased earlier that day. There was a Curious George one for him and a Disney Princess one for me. So we sat there, talking and coloring, until they kicked us out of Starbucks. David drove me home and we sat in his car and talked about this and that until somehow (I can't remember how it all happened) we were confessing our feelings for one another and kissing. And just like that, we were together. There was no defining the relationship, we just were. We fell effortlessly into being a couple and the next month we had together in Monterey was full of wonderful, beginning of a relationship memories.

But if you think all the excitement and drama was over once David finally asked me out, you'd be wrong.

That's part III.

How I Came to Be Mrs. Malone

After reading a friend's re-telling of her first impressions of her husband and their getting-together story, I was inspired to chronicle the story of David and Liz. We love to share our story and even have it down to a well-timed rhythm, each picking up the telling to share our side of the story, so perhaps David will finally come out of the woodworkings to tell you about how he fell madly in love with me. [I keep pestering him to post something on this blog because well....it says both our names, but he doesn't think he has anything to say or that anyone would care to hear from him. Maybe this will be just the topic to get him to write something.] Our birthday weekend always reminds me of how David and I came to be, because it was just around this time three years ago that it all began. But first, I have to tell you my first impression story because it so beautifully illustrates the goofy, childlike essence of David that I have come to love so much.

After graduating from BYU in August of 2005, I moved to Monterey, California to live with my older sister, who I love dearly and who is one of my best friends despite our five year age difference. She had just moved back to California after spending the last five years in Boston and I had decided to take a year off from school to work and relax while I prepared myself for the GRE, grad school applications, and more school. It seemed like the perfect solution to move to a quiet, beachside community in central California to live with Cassy for a year or so. [Of course, she went and got engaged four days after I moved in with her, but that's another story. I still haven't figured out how it happened.]

One of my first Sundays in my new ward, the Presidio of Monterey single's ward, we were having Linger Longer after church. I should briefly mention here that Monterey is home to the Defense Language Institute (DLI) where the military sends all their nerdy intellectual types to learn different languages (Korean, Chinese and Arabic being the most prevalent), hence the ward was largely comprised of military members, with a few "civilians" like myself. It was also a pretty tiny ward, which was a real change of pace from the BYU single's ward I had grown accustomed to in Provo. So there I was, sitting at a table, poking at the hodge-podge of food compiled on my plate, trying to talk and make new friends (thank goodness for Cassy and Monica), when a sudden commotion disrupted the conversations flying about the room.

I looked up to see a skinny little nerd in glasses, his suit jacket pockets and his pants pockets bulging with Motts applesauce cups, running away from a stern Korean sister, who was chastising him for stealing the applesauce and crying out for the Bishop to release him from his calling. (I think she was entirely serious too.) Well, everyone in the ward laughed along as David dodged around the tables, fleeing from Mikyoung's wrath, all the while claiming that the person who had brought the applesauce in the first place had said he could take them.

I'll never forget that first glance of David, pockets bulging with applesauce in the cultural hall in Monterey. David often says that he doesn't make a good first impression, and if his performance on the day in September of 2005 is any indication of the general way people meet David, I'd say it's true. Or at least, he makes a very distinct impression.

Well, after that, David and I had little to no interaction at church or at social functions. We hadn't formally met but I knew who he was and he knew who I was, mostly because he was the Executive Secretary and was a very visible member of the ward. There was one Sunday when he complimented my outfit and told me I looked nice, which completely baffled me because I wasn't much in the habit of being complimented by oblivious guys. I totally thought someone had set him up to say it. (I didn't know then that David has quite the eye for fashion and is anything but oblivious to what women wear. He pays particular attention to shoes and I was wearing my sister's red heels that day.)

Then there was the FHE held at the second counselor's house in February that was all about dating and why we needed to date each other and what both the men and women needed to do on dates, like opening up doors and saying thank you or just saying yes in the first place. I had gotten a ride with Monica, who after FHE, made David come out to the car to give him a box of fruit for his birthday. (I discovered that it was David's birthday....only two days before mine.) David made a big show of opening up the car doors for both of us, which I thought was a comical reaction to FHE's topic. Little did I know that David opens all doors for all females.

[Now I need to have a sidenote to talk about Monica. Monica is our Mexican yenta and has had a hand in marrying off three of the four Hayman children. She was the missionary companion of Elisa, my brother's wife, who moved to Monterey when Elisa moved there to date my brother and was long-suffering and patient in the long drawn-out process that finally got those two married. Then, she was the go-between between my sister Cassy and her girl-shy husband Brigham. And, without Monica's help, David and I would never, not in a million years, have ever started dated. So thank you Monica. My family owes you big time. You should talk to my Dad about getting some type of payment for all your services.]

Anyway, later that week, my sister and I held a dinner party in honor of my 23rd birthday. We were having a fondue party in which all the food was being dipped in something. We had fruit dip and cheese fondue and won tons to be dipped in sweet and sour sauce. We had invited a number of people, many of who were not able to attend. Unbeknownst to both my sister and me, Monica invited David to come to my birthday dinner. After David was assured that this was totally okay (since he didn't even know me!), he asked if he could bring his roommate Jacob (later to be the Best Man at our wedding). Monica said yeah, that'd be great, just bring fruit or something to be dipped in cheese.

So that night, I'm frying up won tons like a madwoman when I heard a knock on our door. I opened up the door and David and Jacob were standing there. After recovering from my shock of seeing these two random people at my door, I let them in and begin to set two extra plates around the table. David then proceeded to take a few items out of grocery bag: some strawberries and a box of herbal tea. We all looked at him and said, "Tea? Why did you bring tea?!?" To which David insisted that Monica had told him to bring something to dip in TEAS. He had even asked her to repeat herself several times on the phone and was convinced she had said TEAS and not CHEESE. He was really confused but didn't want to come empty-handed and so he had bought tea.

We all laughed about his mistake and then sat down to dinner. It was then that I discovered just how humorous David is and he was likewise impressed, probably by the fact that I could cook. (David cannot cook to save his life.) Anyway, that night, interest was piqued on both sides. We talked a little back and forth, but nothing happened until the St. Patrick's Day dance in March.

See, our ward was very tiny, but the activities chairperson insisted on holding a dance for all twenty people who might show up. While I questioned it then, it was the thing David and I needed to finally bring us together. While David didn't come out to a lot of the activities (because he was so busy and stressed out with school), he does happen to be a dancing fool and was very vocal about his excitement for the dance. I was feeling rather sick that night and almost declined to come, but friends convinced me otherwise. David asked me to dance twice, the second time for the last slow song of the night. Afterwards, he asked me if I had any plans the next day (Saturday) and if I wanted to come with a group of people to the movies. I said sure and gave him my phone number. I was keeping a LiveJournal at the time and this is what I wrote about the dance the next day:

The dance last night wasn't so bad. It was a tad lame because there were so few people there and the obligatory bad music, but it still turned out to be an enjoyable night. I was only there for an hour, but I got asked to dance 4 times, twice by the same guy [David] who is a horrible dancer but he does it with such gustso that you can't help but find it endearing. I have a crush on his adorable goofiness. He's hilarious and we have similar senses of humor so its easy to play off him. He's the type of guy I would date for fun.

Oh, how young and innocent I was then. I had no idea what was in store for me. But anyway, like promised, David called me up the next day, gave me the details for the evening's plans, and said he'd come pick me up around 7:30pm. When he came to the door to get me and I got out to the car, David opened the front passenger door for me and I was surprised to find that Jacob and Kimberly (David's two good friends who he drove everywhere) were in the backseat and that the front seat was open for me. (Later I found out that David had kicked Kimberly out of the front seat so that I could sit there. She was not happy about it.) We drove to the movie theater next to the mall and saw the movie 16 Blocks, with Bruce Willis. Afterwards, the group of us (there were 8-10 people that night) went to Starbucks for hot chocolate and then David drove me home. Not 15 minutes after he dropped me off, David texted me with this message: “Thanks for coming with us tonight! I hope you had fun. See you at church. Good night!” Unfortunately, my phone was still on silent and I didn't get the text until the next morning. But that was the beginning. The months to follow before he finally asked me out were certainly interesting ones.

I had no idea then what was in store for the both of us and that that goofy guy with the bulging pockets of applesauce cups, who brought tea instead cheese, who danced horribly with exuberant abandon would be the man that I would marry. All I can say is that it has been a fun ride with David by my side. And maybe soon, I'll chronicle the long and painful process that finally led David to asking me out. Or maybe you'll hear it in his own words. Either way, the whole story is chronicled in my LiveJournal. :-)