How I Became Mrs. Malone, Part IV

To recap: After a long waiting period, David and I finally had our first date on May 2nd, 2006. By May 31st, he had left for Hawaii. I was preparing to move to Washington D.C in August.

Part IV: The First Year Apart

Near the end of July, I packed up my meager belongings into the back of my green pick-up truck and headed home to San Diego for a brief stay before flying to Hawaii to visit David for 10 days. [Incidentally my Ford Ranger, which I had driven on and off since high school, was called David by my family. The name was taken from the movie Sabrina with Audrey Hepburn; my sisters' car was called Sabrina, my mother's was Linus and mine was David. Coincidence or fate? You be the judge.) My parents were not entirely thrilled that I was going all the way to Hawaii to visit a boy. Of course they didn't know yet how far the relationship had already progressed. And I figured that if my brother went all the way to Puerto Rico to meet a girl for the FIRST time (his now-wife) then going to Hawaii to see my boyfriend of three months wasn't that big of a deal. But parents will always be parents.

So on Wednesday July 26, I flew to Honolulu. I was apprehensive and anxious to see David again after two months apart. Of course, we had talked on the phone every day, sometimes for 4-5 hours each day, but there's a big difference between talking to a person and being with a person. David met me at the airport with a beautiful purple flower lei. At first, I almost didn't recognize him and it was a tad awkward. But the awkwardness quickly wore away as we drove to his one bedroom apartment in Mililani. He had just moved into his new place and he had no furniture besides a kitchen table, bed, and dresser. Instead, David had filled the entire living room with index cards. Each card--one for every day that we had been apart--had something different written on them in various colors of crayon. June 8: I miss you! June 28: I love your bone structure! June 15: I'm addicted to you! July 5: I thank God everyday for you! June 13: I adore your femininity! July 16: I love how nerdy you are! June 11: You're so smart! June 4: Wo ai ni. ["I love you" in Chinese, though David wrote the actual Chinese characters.] Of course, I kept those index cards.

David worked on Thursday and Friday that week but he took leave the next week so that we could do all the touristy things together. We went to Pearl Harbor and the Arizona memorial, ate dim sum in Chinatown, walked through Waikiki, ate delicious Dole Whip [pineapple sherbet] at the Dole Plantation, went swimming in Waimea Bay and snorkeling in North Shore, hiked Diamond Head, visited the Honolulu Zoo and Waikiki Aquarium (both tiny!!!) and the Honolulu Academy of Arts (which has a surprisingly large and varied collection), ate shaved ice, and went to the movies. Mostly, we just enjoyed spending time together and talking. The day before I was set to fly home, David told me that he had his heart set on me and that he'd wait for me. I was a wreck on the plane ride home. I was sad to be leaving David, especially since I didn't know when I'd see him again but also torn between feelings of great love and almost doomed certainty that this relationship couldn't last the two years it would take me to get my master's.

Four days after leaving Hawaii, on August 9, I got back on a plane, this time headed for Washington, D.C. I was completely overwhelmed when I first arrived. I had never moved someplace where I did not know a single person. My sister's brother-in-law lived in Maryland (and he kindly picked me up from the airport and drove me to my new home) but other than that, I knew no one. (Until my best friend Jen moved there in January.) I was extremely thankful for David though. Even though he wasn't there with me, David was understanding and sympathetic, always willing to listen to me whine and complain and stress out. It was a great comfort to have someone to figuratively hold my hand while I embarked on this new and extremely scary chapter of my life.

Of all the things I have done in my life, and the answers I've sought through prayer, moving to D.C. and attending to grad school was something that I absolutely knew I needed to do. I don't know why--even now--but I never doubted that I was supposed to be right where I was at that point in my life. This certainty was confirmed to me by the wonderful circumstances I had landed myself in. I found a wonderfully large room to rent in a wonderfully spacious house in Alexandria, Virginia with four very wonderful women. (Well, seven by the time I left. Three girls left in the time I lived there and were replaced by equally wonderful women.) I learned a tremendous amount from them and I know I couldn't have survived my two years in D.C. without such a supportive group of friends.

I didn't start class for another month, so I spent most of August unpacking my belongings, getting to know my new roommates, exploring D.C's many attractions, and looking for part-time work. By the end of August, I had found a part-time job with a debt collections lawyer in Farragut West only a few blocks from GW's campus. It wasn't a terribly exciting job--nor one that paid well--but it was enough to meet my living expenses and it offered a very flexible schedule which I needed for school. Meanwhile, David and I tried to adjust to the distance between us. Not only were we now 6,000 miles apart, but we had to contend with a 5 or 6 hour time difference (Hawaii doesn't do daylight savings time) which made finding a good time to talk rather difficult.

But on September 9, I received a package that changed my life. Okay, our lives. David sent me a "going back to school" care package which included a movie, Flintstones vitamins (to keep my bones nice and healthy), Care Bear band-aids, kleenex, post-in notes, a book of Sudoku puzzles, a tiara, gum, chapstick, dried mango and mostly importantly, a webcam. For any person out there who may be considering a long-distance relationship, webcams are an absolute must. Once we finally got both of our webcams to work, David and I would conduct all our conversations in front of the camera. I truly believe that the only reason that our relationship withstood the two years apart was because we could see each other over the webcam. I could tell when David got a haircut or compliment him on a new shirt, but most of all, we could see facial expressions and share every facet of our lives with each other, even though we couldn't physically be there.

The rest of the time between September through December was relatively uneventful though we did celebrate our 6-month anniversary on November 2nd. I was extremely busy with classes and trying to not feel like an idiot. If you've ever been to grad school--or if you've ever considered going--you should know that for the first two months, you will feel like the biggest idiot known to man. I was so out of my league and pretty dang intimidated by all my professors and fellow students, particularly the Ph.D. candidates. But then, suddenly, I wasn't stupid anymore. I actually found out that I can be somewhat intelligent from time to time. The time seemed to pass very slowly, but finally, the semester ended, and I flew home to San Diego for Christmas.

David joined my family for Christmas that year and we got to spend two weeks together. I took him all around San Diego and we also went to Disneyland because David had never been. He also got to meet most of my family (at least on my Dad's side), who approved, for the most part. I think it took awhile for my dad especially to accept David.

Our first Christmas together. At my grandparents' house.

I remember two things from that Christmas. One, that David bought me a beautiful diamond necklace and two, that my family took family photos that year. While I had already informed my parents that I was 95% sure that David and I were going to get married, my mother wasn't taking any chances so she had the photographer take pictures with David and without David. I understood why my mother insisted on that--what if it didn't work out and we always had family photos with this random guy?--but I'm glad we've got the pictures now of all four kids with all of their spouses. (Especially since we haven't all been together since that Christmas.)

Family photo without David.

Family photo with David.

Spending Christmas and New Year's with David was such a treat that it made the rest of January that we spent apart very miserable. It was especially hard to spend our birthdays apart in February. But in March, I made the VERY long journey from D.C. to Hawaii for Spring Break. David didn't take the time off work this time, so I worked on my research papers and caught up on my reading while he was at work. I was there for 10 days and while there, we hiked to Makapuu Lighthouse, went swimming at Bellows AFB (still my favorite beach here), went bowling, walked around Waikiki and went ocean kayaking which left me with the worst sunburn of my life. I also went to Pearl Harbor again and to the Bishop Museum one day while David was at work.

I returned to D.C. to finish out my most successful semester of school (straight A's!) and looked forward (with a tiny bit of apprehensive) to May, when I was flying to Atlanta to meet David's family for the first time for his sister's wedding. That story, and the next year of our dating relationship will be up next.

P.S. This story is turning out to be much MUCH longer than I had expected, but I wanted to write it all down anyway to put in my journal. But I thought I might as well share all of it with those of you who still might find it somewhat interesting. :-)