Single Parenthood

David is in Paris for the week. He went with a few other students from the MBA program as a way to complete his requirements for his Global Management Certificate, which is basically like a minor in international business. They do a trip to Europe and a trip to Asia each year but since he's already conquered Asia, David decided to do the Europe trip. This is his first time in Europe and he was a little disappointed to go to France (given that there are several other countries in Europe he wanted to visit first) but at least I'm not super rabidly jealous of him since I've been to Paris twice. He's enjoyed some of the sight-seeing and the food, but he's also been sick the last few days and the weather is just as cold there as it is here so it hasn't been the most pleasant trip for him. Maybe he'll share some of his experiences here when he returns.

He left last Friday and will return next Monday. I will be very glad when he returns. Even though David and I had a long distance relationship for the majority of our two year dating relationship, we haven't spent much time apart since we got married 4.5 years ago. We've tried very hard to keep it that way and this is the longest amount of time we've spent apart since then. It's been a lot harder--on both of us--than I think we both expected.

Zara misses her daddy a lot. Every day when I go out to get David's Wall Street Journal, Zara grabs it from me and then runs through the house asking, "Where's Daddy?" so she can give him his paper. She doesn't understand why he's not here.

The experience has given me great appreciation for single parents. I can't even really compare myself to them since it's only 10 measly days apart, but I really don't know how single parents do it day after day. My boss is an incredible example of doing it gracefully and successfully. Her husband died several years ago, leaving her widowed with four children, some still quite young. I know she may not always feel like she's got it all together, but I've been in awe of her and her ability to juggle a full-time career with full-time parenting. She really is incredible.

It's not just doing it alone that seems so hard, it's doing it without the constant support and companionship of someone else. Someone you can talk to, and complain to, someone who is right there in the trenches with you, trying to figure out how to raise a kid without having to send them to therapy for the rest of their lives. Someone you can relax with, someone you can laugh with, someone you can share every moment of your life with. And even though there have honestly been times when I have felt like a military widow or a grad school widow, that I've been shouldering most of the parenting by myself, I never really have. David has always been there to talk me off of ledges, to avert potential mental breakdowns and shower our daughter with his love and attention. He really is the best partner to have in this life.

Can it just be Monday already?

Gratitude Countdown: Day 3

I am grateful for fast and efficient means of transportation. I just finished re-reading Sense and Sensibility for my Book Club this month and I was struck again by how tedious and long any journey over a few miles took back then. A trip of 30 miles would take three days in a cramped carriage, over bumpy dirt roads. Now, I don't even blink an eye when traveling 30 miles. It takes less than an hour.

Since we like to travel, I am incredibly grateful that we have the means to see so many different parts of the world so easily. Even as I type, David is in Boston for a career fair. He left yesterday morning and will return tomorrow evening. He's halfway across the country, over 2,000 miles away, and yet it will only take 5 hours to fly home. That is indeed a miracle and something to be grateful for.

Seoul Lantern Festival

Last month, our friend Kimberly came for a visit. She and David were good friends at DLI (she's a Chinese linguist) and she also lived in Hawaii while we were there. She just got out of the Navy and decided to come visit us before she heads to Massachusetts to start school. We're so glad she came. She was a great house guest and we just love showing off our baby to all our friends.

The last full day that Kimberly was here we went to the Korean Folk Village (which I've written about before) during the day and then to the Seoul Lantern Festival that night. I guess they do this every year, but this year they brought out the lanterns earlier than usual in honor of the G20 Summit which was held here in Seoul.
It was simply amazing. I'm so glad we went. (Especially since it was one of the last nights it was open.)
The lanterns, all made of paper, were breathtaking all lit up. (I wonder how they protect them if it rains.) Some were quite intricate and others were just amusing.

The Cheonggye Stream runs through much of downtown Seoul. It used to be boarded up and was the site of an elevated highway but when Lee Myung-bak (Korea's current President) was mayor of Seoul, he had the highway torn down and the river area was re-vitalized. Now, the river has several bridges and walk-ways spanning it on all sides and is a beautiful and pleasant place to visit.

Here's a guardian, typical of what you see in most Buddhist temples.

And here's the temple with giant koi. Seriously, that fish is just as big as the building.

And in honor of the G20 Summit, they had lanterns representing countries from around the world. Like the Christ statue in Brazil.

And Big Ben.

And Lady Liberty herself.

The lanterns stretched down several blocks. There were so many more than I was expecting.


And there were several which looked like many of the things we'd seen at the Folk Village earlier that day like water wheels and dancers and a traditional wedding party.

Lotus flowers are always fashionable in Asia.

And star-crossed lovers, apparently.

This was the coolest lantern. Koreans are insanely proud Yi Soon-Shin's turtle ships. You see replicas of these supposedly impregnable ships everywhere you go in Korea. The sails on this lantern moved up and down, the oars rowed from side to side and the cannons spurted fire. Of course, my camera didn't really capture all of that.

And tigers, of course. I think they had all the animals from the zodiac signs, but I like the tigers best. (Even though I'm a dog.) Zara was born in the year of the tiger, after all. :-)

After walking along the river to the end of the exhibit, we then walked to Insadong, a long street which is famous for its authentic Korean crafts like celadon pottery, scrolls, calligraphy, and fans. It's become one of my favorite places in Seoul. Plus, we found an absolutely delicious Chinese restaurant above one of the shops there. I can't wait to eat there again. Their sweet and sour pork was the best I've ever had. I only wish they delivered to our house, but I think we're a little outside their typical delivery range. Pity. I could really go for some Chinese food right now.

Korean Folk Village

The Seoul Searchers are a group of women from our church who get together twice a month to explore different parts of Seoul. They've gone to different museums, parks, and cultural sites around Seoul. I went to the first outing--to the Seoul Zoo--and then pregnancy, birth, and motherhood got in the way. I've been anxiously awaiting my chance to re-join them and they finally gave me a good excuse. This Wednesday we went to the Korean Folk Village in Suwon, a place I've been wanting to go since we first got here. It's a large open complex that shows what a traditional Korean village would have looked like.

It was a beautiful fall day and all the trees with their orange, yellow, and red leaves were spectacular.

I wish it didn't feel like fall gets shortchanged every year.

The village was separated by a river and there were several bridges--of various styles and materials--that spanned the water.

They also had several demonstrations. We watched traditional drumming and dance, a traditional Korean wedding, and an equestrian show. And then there was this guy who walked on this tightrope....

....and bounced up and down it on his crotch. I can only hope that he was wearing some heavy padding.

There were only three of us there and since two of us had small babies who needed to be fed, we didn't get to explore the village as much as I would have liked.

Still, I really enjoyed what I did get to see. But I always love living history mueums like this.

Can you spot the cat on the hut?

There he is! There were several cats wandering around the village.


We ate lunch at a restaurant there and then headed home. It only took us 45 minutes to get back and now that I know how to get there, I may just have to go back again. But next time, I'm bringing David with me. I could have used a translator.

Gyeongju

Our last stop on our wild and crazy trip through Korea was Gyeongju, which is about an hour north of Busan. Gyeongju was the capital of Korea during the Silla dynasty and is one of the best perserved areas of Korea (since the Japanese have pretty much destroyed everything else in Korea multiple times over). In fact, it's called the "museum without walls." I was surprised at just how much there is to see in Gyeongju. You could spend days there, but we only had a few hours. I'd really love to try to go back there at some point. It looked liked a beautiful and fascinating area. Still, I'm glad we got to see what we did while we were there.

Gyeongju is famous for these random grass-covered hills called tumuli. They are really the burial mounds of various Silla royalty. There are hundreds of them all throughout the area.

The double peaked mounds are apparently the burial plots for husband and wife.

We visited Tumuli Park which was full of these mounds and some beautiful shady areas, trees, walkways and ponds.

They have also excavated one of the mounds so that visitors can enter it.

Basically, the tomb of the king or royal person is in the center of the mound, covered by a wooden box containing the remains of the person and all sorts of gold and jewels. The tomb is then covered by a mound of rocks, a thick layer or dirt, and finally the grass. You can see why they don't excavate more of them. It'd be a major pain. Still, I wonder what other treasures they could find.

Zara spent most of the day sleeping. Seriously. We couldn't even get her to wake up to eat. I guess she was worn out or going through a growth spurt or something.

Across the street from Tumuli Park was another open area full of more tumuli and this ancient astronomy observation tower.

It was also near several large fields where they grow flowers and other plants. Too bad we came during the fall. It looks like the are would be absolutely beautiful during the spring.

After a few hours in the area, we climbed back into the car and headed home to Seoul. We made good time (stopping at another rest stop for dinner) and only hit traffic once we entered Seoul again. Luckily, we weren't stuck in traffic for too long. At least we know our way home and didn't get lost again.

I'm so glad we got a chance to get out of Seoul. Korea really is a beautiful country with a long and tragic history. I call Korea the ugly step-sister of Asia. It often gets lost in the shadow of China and Japan, but it is a fascinating country with a strong and resilent people. I can only hope that I live to see the day when North and South Korea can be reunited as one country.

Busan

After our long drive down to the coast on Monday, we decided to take Tuesday easy. We got a very late start--in part because we all wanted to sleep in and in part because David had some homework to finish before we could set out for the day. After finishing his test and quizzes, we climbed back into our car and headed east toward Busan. We decided to head toward Busan Tower first.

The drive into Busan took about an hour from Chinhae and then it took us a little more time once inside Busan to find the parking structure for Busan Tower (we basically had to circle the entire mountain the tower sits on to get to the designated parking).





I'm glad we chose Busan Tower as our first (and quite frankly, only) stop in Busan. It was a beautiful clear day and we got a great view of the city, including the harbor and all the many ships that come through Busan.

Busan is a much smaller city than Seoul which was quite nice. I like my cities to be on the smaller side. They feel more manageable, less overwhelming, and more endearing. I do wish we'd had a bit more time to explore Busan. What I did see and experience, I quite liked.

Zara spent most of the day conked out in her baby carrier. If we keep moving and walking, she stays asleep. As soon as we stop, she wakes up and wants to eat. I'm not sure how Koreans view nursing in public but based on the number of long stares I received as I nursed Zara (covered up, mind you), I'm guessing it's not typically done. Oh well. I figure I can get away with it since I'm American.

After going to the top of Busan Tower and exploring the area near there, we walked down the mountain and into the city. We walked around a cute little shopping district. It had just one lane of traffic and was very pedestrian friendly.

The whole street was dotted with these fountains and statues.

My favorite was the cat.

I'm predictable like that.

One more shot of Zara because she's so darn cute.

We walked around the shopping area for a little bit--my mom bought a pair of shoes--and then decided to find a place to eat before heading back to Chinhae. We eventually settled on one Korean "beef and leaf" place. It looked much nicer than the restaurants around it, which is why we chose it. It was still early so we were the first people in the restaurant and the owner--a man who had lived in Chicago for a few years and who spoke very good English--spent a lot of time explaining the different cuts of meat to us and was generally very attentive. He gave us whatever extra food we wanted, explained why and how to eat certain things, and what some of the more mysterious side dishes were. It was a very delicious meal and a great restaurant. By the time we left, the place was filling up quickly. I wish I had taken a picture of the restuarant or at least written down the name so I could remember where it was and what it was called.

We walked back to the car and got all settled in again for the drive back to Chinhae. It had been relatively easy to find out way into Busan and to the tower so we thought it'd be relatively easy to find our way out of Busan and back on the road to Chinhae but like most things in Korea, it proved to not be quite as easy as we had anticipated. After driving for an hour we still had not made our way out of Busan and we were growing quite frustrated. (Korean street signs are not very helpful. Neither were our maps.) We eventually pulled over to a gas station where David held a very long conversation with some of the employees there about the best way to get back to Chinhae. One man was very emphatic that we take a certain road home and tried his best to explain it to David and even drew a rough map for us to follow. David thought he could find his way home from there and so we were just about to head off again when the man stopped our car and told us that if we'd just wait 5 minutes, he'd lead us to the right road. So we followed the man's car out of the city and to the 2, which would take us to Chinhae. It's a good thing he was so kind to take us because we would have totally missed the correct turn-off. (In typical Korean fashion, the road he told us to take was the 35, but the sign actually called it the 66 because it has two names.) We followed the man for almost an hour before he pulled over and told us that the way to Chinhae should be clear.

David thanked him profusely for his kindness and offered him money for his time and the cost of his gas which he waved away, saying that he lived nearby anyway. (David assured us that that was a lie. Why would a man drive 50 kilometers just to work at a gas station?) We eventually found our way back to the navy base after three hours on the road.

I don't know if the people of Busan are just generally nicer than the people of Seoul (no one in Seoul would have every offered to show us the way home) or if we just happened to meet two of the friendlier Korean people, but our impression of Busan was greatly affected by the kindness of strangers. David has often felt a lack of connection and love for the people of Korea and their country (unlike Taiwan, where he served his mission) but our experience in Busan has changed his opinion of Korea. Korea truly is a beautiful country--it's just hard to see it sometimes when you're trapped in the smog and indifference of Seoul.

Jikjisa and the trip to Chinhae

While my parents were here, we went on a whirlwind tour of the Korean peninsula. I was very excited to get out of Seoul and to see more of Korea. We really haven't explored Korea much and I kept hearing that the southern portion of the country is beautiful and worth visiting. Mostly, I just wanted to get out of the city. Of course, actually getting out of the metropolitan Seoul area is much more difficult than it sounds because it's so full of traffic. But once we FINALLY made it out of Seoul, the roads cleared up and we started to make some good progress. We had rooms booked at the Navy base down in Chinhae, which sits on the southern coast about an hour to the west of Busan.

Halfway through our journey to Chinhae, we stopped at one of Korea's many, many rest stops. The rest stops in Korea are rather impressive. Sure, they feature bathrooms, food, and gas stations just like the ones in America, but they have higher quality food and there are more amenities. One even had a "lactation room" and a real changing table and baby bathtub in the bathroom. The one we stopped at on Monday was situated along a resevoir or river of some kind and had beautifully large windows that showcased the water and mountains. It was rather picturesque. (Of course I wasn't expecting the rest stop to be so scenic so I left my camera in the car.) We ate a late lunch, I fed Zara, and did a little souvenir shopping. Mostly, it was just nice to stretch our legs.

Not long after starting on our journey again, we stopped in Kimcheon to visit the Jikjisa Buddhist temple. Our good friend (who served his mission in Korea and has traveled throughout the country) said that it was one of his favorite spots in all of Korea. We weren't sure if we should stop since we had gotten such a late start that day and were nervous about finding our way down to Chinhae in the dark, but I'm so glad that we made the detour to visit the site. It was absolutely beautiful and so worth the extra time and trouble it took to get there.

It's in a more remote location up in the mountains and is surrounded by trees, mountains and fresh water streams.
The first thing I noticed when we stepped out of the car was the cool, crisp, fresh air. I suddenly realized just how dirty and unrefreshing Seoul city air is and it felt like I was breathing for the first time in a really, really long time. I couldn't stop taking deep breaths and filling my lungs with all that pure, sweet mountain air.

It was late afternoon so the sun was already down and the air was very cool. That, along with the beautiful colors of the changing season really made me feel like it was truly autumn. I love, love, love fall. I hate that the switch from summer to fall seems so short.

The temple buldings themselves were typical Asian/Buddhist buildings (and really once you've seen one, you've seen them all) but it was the location and scenery that made Jikjisa so breathtaking and memorable.

They must have been burning a wood fire somewhere on the premesis because I caught a whiff of that delicious campfire smell and I had this gut-wrenching longing to roast some marshmellows and commune with nature.

I really didn't want to leave. You can actually stay at the temple and hang with the monks. It actually sounds kinda nice.

As we continued to walk around, I got more and more reluctant to leave. I kept telling David how much I wanted to go camping or visit some of Korea's national parks and just be in nature. After 15 months of being in one big city or another, I had forgotten just how much I love peace and quiet and nature.

I made David promise that we'd at least visit Sorakson before we leave Korea. And that we'd try to get out of Seoul more often.

So breathtaking.

After walking around the grounds we about an hour, we reluctantly piled back into the car to continue on our journey. We had hoped that it would only take another two hours to get to Chinhae but we ended up getting quite lost and it took us about an hour or two to find knowledgeable Koreans who could give us adequate directions toward Chinhae and the base. Our maps of Korea were absolutely useless. We finally found the base (which is tiny) and got settled in our rooms (which were very nice and inexpensive) and crashed for the night. I took the longest shower and it was glorious. Despite the extra time it took, I'm so glad we stopped at Jikjisa. I think it's my favorite place in Korea right now too.

Zara was an absolutely fantastic little traveler. She mostly slept in her carseat while we were driving and didn't mind being transferred to the carrier when we'd get out to see things. She fussed and cried a little, but really, she did a terrific job. She's such a wonderful baby...I don't know how I got so lucky.

But having just typed that, I know I'll live to regret those words. Oh well.