Baby for Sale

Most days, I face the challenges of having a baby who doesn't like to sleep with equanimity and perspective. Some days its a real challenge. Some days, you just want to give your baby away to the highest bidder.

Like today, for instance.

Zara went to bed at 8:30 last night and woke up every two hours wanting more food or comfort. By 5:30 a.m., she decided it was time to wake up and play. I tried desperately to get her to go back to sleep and for awhile, she let me just hold her while I drifted in and out of a semi-awake state before she grew tired and wriggled and waggled until she'd wrested her little body free of my arms. I finally being conscious enough to realize that her diaper was soaked so I stumbled into the nursery and with great wailing and gnashing of teeth managed to get a new diaper securely fastened over her cute behind. I did not, however, have the presence of mind or fortitude to snap her pajamas closed.

Despite my pleas and promises that I'd buy her a pony, Zara would not return to sleep. I set her in her crib and returned to the bed, hoping to get a little more sleep on my own, but Zara's ear-splitting shrieks prevented any more sleep from occurring. But after ten minutes of crying, Zara was now sufficiently worn out that she fell back into a fitful sleep in my arms and I retreated back to the bed for a little more shut-eye, Zara passed out on my chest.

I woke 45 minutes later to the feel of something wet near my hand only to discover that Zara had managed to pull her diaper off and was sitting, bare bummed and pleased as punch, in an ever spreading pool of pee, munching on the corner of my phone.

So, resigning myself to a sleepless fate, I cleaned that baby off, secured a new diaper over her nefarious bottom, and went about changing the sheets. The whole time I was secretly contemplating the benefits of selling off my child--she's pretty cute, I bet someone would pay good money for her, right?--and wondering why I was crazy enough to think I wanted MORE kids. But as I was holding Zara in my arms, she turned to me and gave me the biggest innocent baby smile, complete with two newly emerging bottom teeth and I realized that I'd just have to keep her after all. She's way too cute to let go.

But next time, I make no promises.