5. Mililani, Oahu, Hawai'i
Seems kind of sad to lump my current home in this category--especially since I've only lived here for 4 months--but life in Hawaii is not an idyllic perennial vacation filled with tropical beaches, pineapple treats, and calm, peaceful living. This might be more feasible on the other islands (smaller populations, no highways, etc.) but it's virtually nonexistent on Oahu. Is it all a myth? Certainly not...there are plenty of beautiful beaches, lots of good snorkeling, whale watching and scuba diving, hundreds of gorgeous hikes and outdoor adventures, and a small but respectable cultural center in the form of Honolulu. Sounds great, doesn't it? I thought so too. And it is great....for a week or so, while on vacation. But the reality of living in Hawaii is much different than the Hawaii most tourists see and understand.
First you have the fact that Hawaii's weak economy is built upon two industries: the military and tourism. Given the state of the economy worldwide, tourism has taken a severe nosedive and an already difficult job market has grown exponentially smaller and more and more places have begun to lay off people. Second, you have poor infrastructure. This is problematic in many places but perhaps because Oahu is small, contained island, I feel it more acutely. The streets are often bumpy and poorly laid out, traffic is always terrible. (Don't get me started on why most Hawaiians feel the need to go AT LEAST ten miles below the speed limit. We could be here all night.) Given the premium on land, houses, neighborhoods and shopping areas are rather compacted, leading to a variety of inconveniences. Third, native Hawaiians can be a relatively insular people. I'm all for embracing and recognizing one's very distinct and colorful cultural history, but I was saddened to learn that the public school curriculum focuses mostly on the history of Hawaii and the Pacific Islands and barely touches on American or world history. (Of course, this bothers me mostly because I want to teach American history.) Not to mention that aside from probably only NYC, Hawaii has the highest cost of living, rent, home prices, food prices, gas, etc. It's pretty dang ridiculous. I don't know how we'd survive without access to the commissary and a Costco membership.
But the thing I personally find so difficult about living in Hawaii is that, at the end of the day, I'm on an island. For some, island life is wonderful, but I am having a harder time than I expected adjusting to that reality. I'd really love to take a weekend roadtrip, but on an island, you only end up going in circles. Like I said, it's rather sad that Hawaii falls so low on my list but that is in part because I've only lived here 4 months and I'm still living here. I'm still dealing with the realities of island living and haven't had a chance to grow nostalgic and wistful for those few things that Hawaii has that no other place has. I'm 99% sure that once we move to Korea, I'll be dreaming of Hawaii.
4. Provo, Utah
Aside from my hometown of Poway, Provo has the distinction of being the place I lived the longest: 4 whole years. Granted, I lived in approximately 37 different apartments/condos/dorm rooms within Provo during that time so I was constantly changing my surroundings and friends. Utah sometimes get a bad rap from non-Utah Mormons because it too can be a very insular community, ridden with hypocrisy and a sense of social conformity. I certainly chafed against the predominant Mormon culture at times and was sooooo ready to graduate from BYU and hightail it out of there. But strangely enough, there are many things I've come to miss about my days in Utah including the comfort and security of a large Mormon population.
Like most multi-generation Mormons, I have a lot of family in Utah and I enjoyed the chances I had to interact with aunts, uncles, cousins, and their expanding families for Sunday dinners, holidays, and get-togethers. I miss chocolate covered cinnamon bears (a popular candy there that seems to only exist within a 40 mile radius of Salt Lake City), the BYU library, Provo's electic architectural styles, BYU Creamery chocolate milk, the BYU bookstore, being close to 25 temples and church-related materials, and the bountiful dining options. (Kneaders, J-Dawgs, Los Hermanos, Bombay House, Cafe Rio, Mimi's Cafe.....need I go on? There's no place I miss more for the food than Provo, interestingly enough.) I loved the mountains and the many outdoor options (spelunking, hiking, rock climbing, skiing, etc) and the many places close-by to visit (Park City, Salt Lake City, Zion's National Park, Moab, etc). And Provo was close enough to Salt Lake that we could go there for a night out, to a concert or club, or simply to enjoy a change of scenery. Provo was a great place to live as an undergrad, but despite all the things I miss about it, I would not want to move back there for only one reason: it's a college town swarming with a decidedly young population. I loved it when I was in that demographic, but I think now, I'd have a hard time with 30,000 18-25 year olds running about the whole place. Salt Lake City wouldn't be terrible but for me, there's just no going back to Provo (unless David wants to go BYU for law/business school there, which he tells me he doesn't).
3. San Diego, California (tie)
I grew up in Poway, a suburb of San Diego, and there was, in my humble opinion, no better place to grow up in all the world. I have fond memories of my childhood and teenage years, in large part to a group of wonderful friends. Poway was far enough away from the city to feel open and small townish but close enough to all the wonders of San Diego to never grow boring. What's not to love about stretches of sandy beaches (Hawaii beaches are very rocky although the water is admittedly much nicer), the San Diego Zoo/Wild Animal Park, Balboa Park, Petco Park (home of the Padres), Mission Bay, Sea World, the Gaslamp District, downtown, good shopping, relatively good traffic flow, Old Town, and the San Diego temple. Plus, you're close enough to Los Angeles and Orange County to enjoy their perks (Disneyland, museums, concerts, etc) without having to brave the smog-ridden traffic jam that is the greater L.A. area all the time. Sure, San Diego still has an exorbitant cost of living and tends to catch on fire every other year but if you can afford it, it's one of the best places on earth. Plus, it truly does have some of the best weather in the world....a temperate climate that has mild, but discernible seasons and never gets too cold.
So why isn't San Diego higher? That's a good question. I love San Diego but there are other places which edge it out....just barely because they offer something I love which San Diego doesn't. Plus, I don't really think I'll ever end up living in San Diego as an adult with my own family. I never want my parents to leave (and believe me, they've threatened a few times) so I can come home for visits, but I've made peace with the fact that San Diego will probably never be my home again. But no matter where I might be living at the time, I always feel like I'm finally coming home everytime my plane lands at Lindbergh Field and I see San Diego Harbor. I will always be a true Californian (born and bred) and my heart will always want to return there.
3. Washington, D.C. (tie)
D.C. just barely beats out San Diego but only because I'm a history nerd and D.C. has a much (MUCH) bigger selection of historic houses, museums, agencies, and archives where an American historian like myself can never grow bored. Seriously....I was never bored a single day I lived in D.C. (okay, Alexandria, Virginia to be more exact). There's always something to see and do, tons of great weekend trips to take (one of the perks of living on the East Coast....everything is far more packed together), and lots of great sites, restaurants, concerts, plays, operas, ballets, political stuff, and lots, lots more. It really has an amazing amount to offer. Plus, D.C. itself is a very walkable town. It's a city, but not too big city....just the way I like my cities.
So yes, D.C. has a lot going for it but it also has insane traffic, convoluted roads, a cramped population and a high cost of living (but what place besides doesn't these days?.....except Utah). I certainly got tired of the long commute in and out of the city each day, the crowded streets, stores, and metro, and the way people only lived to work. Maybe it's just because traffic is so bad in and out of D.C. everyday, but it felt like everyone worked much longer hours. I always felt like I was rushing everywhere....running to catch my train, running to work, chasing after buses, trying to beat everyone else to the store. It was rather tiring at times, but now, living in such a relaxed and easy-going place like Hawaii, I've come to miss the fast-paced energy of D.C. The only downside (and there are many others I'm not mentioning) is that to live in D.C. you actually have to pay attention to what's happening in the world because people there....they know. In fact, they are probably the people who are doing something about it. It's only a little intimidating.
2. Monterey, California
Oh Monterey. When I first moved there, I was bored. There never seemed to be anything to do, the ward was tiny, and it is not--by any stretch of the imagination--a place for young, city-loving singles. But oh, how I came to adore Monterey's quiet peace, the lovely bay only two blocks from my apartment, the salty, breezy fresh air, the layers of fog each morning, the sound of the sea lions barking from their rocks, walking to the Farmer's Market every Tuesday for fresh produce and good food, volunteering at the Monterey Bay Aquarium, visiting the touristy spots like Alvarado Street, Carmel, Pacific Grove and Cannery Row, and the literary works of John Steinbeck (most of his novels are set in Salinas/Monterey). Though I remember the times I did not love Monterey as I do now, Monterey now holds only the best of memories for me. But you always remember the place where you met your husband and fell in love for the first time.
There is no place I have previously lived that I want to return to (to live) as much as Monterey...and someday, when David and I are extraordinarily rich, we'll move back there. Like all places worth living, the cost of living and housing market is high. David likes to remind me the other negative aspects of Monterey: far away from any major cities, limited access roads in and out of the bay area, and it's small size. But I like to counter with the fact that Salinas (the next closest city of any real size) is not too far of a drive and has plenty of amenities. For bigger needs, Gilroy (garlic capital of the world) is about 30-45 minutes away (and full of great outlets), San Jose is an hour away and San Francisco/Oakland (and the temple) are two hours away. Plus, Big Sur (which is absolutely gorgeous!) is 30 minutes to the south. Sure, I wish these locations were a bit closer, but when you can have the beauty and peace and tranquility that Monterey can offer, wouldn't you be willing to give up a few of those conveniences? Someday I'll live there again. I will.
1. Rome, Italy
Rome may not count in this list of places I've lived even though it tops the list. I only lived in Rome for only 4 months on a study abroad with a group from BYU and therefore was not beset with the realities of everyday life. I did not have to worry about finding a job in a crazy job market, I did not have to fret about making ends meet or coughing up an exorbitant rent, I did not have serious church, social, or even educational obligations to contend with. Quite simply, Rome was a joyous, glorious, and ultimately relaxing four month vacation with a side helping of art history and Italian classes. I'm sure, had I lived there for longer, or had to actually work, I'd be singing a different tune, but my four months in Rome was magical and I'd gladly hand over my first born to be able to go there again. (Okay, maybe not a first born, but I will not rest until I've had a chance to take David to Italy.)
I don't think I need to extol Rome's great assets to anyone but if mounds of delectable gelato in all flavors, delicate and superbly cooked food, thin-crusted pizza oozing with fresh mozzarella, ancient ruins, medieval churches, history, cobblestones, and fashion/shoes is not your thing, then I'm not quite sure why we are even friends. Some of the best memories of my life were made in Rome and not a day went by when I did not appreciate my time there. Perhaps that is the reason Rome is still ranked so high on my list....I have not always appreciated the places I have lived until it was too late. I think it's time I start looking at only the positive of Hawaii and start prepping myself for two years in Korea. What an adventure that will be....
So, for those who made it to the end of this ridiculously long post, what is your favorite place you have ever lived, where would you never want to move back to, and where do you dream of living and raising a family?
For me, I'd love to go back to Monterey, but I honestly have no idea where in the world we may end up. And that, of course, is what makes life all the more exciting.
