Remebering 9/11

Like most people, I have been reflecting on life in the ten years since September 11, 2001. I was a freshmen at BYU, just two weeks into my college experience, away from home for the first time. It was a surreal and sobering experience. For kicks, I got out my journal from that time period and flipped to the journal entry I knew I had written that day.

"I woke up late this morning and took a shower. Afterwards, I turned on my computer and didn't bother to turn off AIM. Mandy IMed me [remember when that was big?] and told me to watch the news and right afterwards, Kara called me and I went up to her room to watch the news. It seems to be that terrorists (most likely from the Middle East) attacked the United States. Up to 4 passenger (passenger!) planes were hijacked. Two crashed into the Twin Towers of the World Trade Center in NYC. One crashed into the Pentagon in DC and the other seems to have hit federal/state buildings in Pittsburg. [That part is wrong. As is always the case with breaking news, not all the facts reported were correct.] ....Can you just imagine how many people died today? 50,000 people work in the WTC and other government buildings. And the passengers on the 4 hijacked planes most likely lost their lives. Some say President Bush believes this is an act of war and will react as such. This is like World War III! [Melodramatic, much? But really, didn't it feel like the start of another world war?]

"Everyone remembers where they were when Kennedy was shot, or during Pearl Harbor, and I will always remember that I was in my BYU dorm room today when I heard the news....Many have said that this is definitely a sign of the Second Coming of Christ. If this is only the beginning, then I don't know how I will survive through all the trials and tribulations that are sure to follow."

Part of this journal entry makes me laugh. Could I be more dramatic or fatalistic? Especially when my next journal entry, dated November 3, 2001, is all about the crush I had on a boy in my ward and what a big dork I was and how difficult a time I was having making new friends and adjusting to life at BYU. The point is, life went on. It felt like the end of the world when it happened, but life went on. And it went on very soon afterward.

Sure, I've felt the repercussions since that fateful day: a brother-in-law and countless military friends deployed to Afghanistan and Iraq, a gaping hole in the New York skyline, a keener awareness of America's frailty, the constant threat of terrorists, the terror of a whispered bomb scares, and the pain in the butt that is now commercial airline flying. We live with the realities of 9/11 everyday, but it is so easy to forget.

For David, it's not even real. He was serving his mission in Taiwan when the attack happened but as a missionary, he was not allowed to watch television and saw and heard very little about what happened. He says that he kept hearing about how America changed after the attacks, but when he came home (in 2002), nothing really seemed to be different.

I'd like to think that in the next ten years, I won't forget about what happened or the lives that were lost that day. But I would be lying. Because life went on. Now my days are spent cooking and cleaning and chasing after a rambunctious toddler and I don't stop to think about how our lives were flipped upside down one day many years ago and how everything has changed since then.

But today, I remember what happened. Today, I think about acts of bravery and sacrifice. Today I mourn with those who mourn and grieve with those who grieve. Today, I remember how the whole world changed. But today, I also think about how life just goes on. And that fills me with hope. No matter what happens, life will always go on. We heal, we recover, and we soldier on to face more of life's many challenges. I'd like to think I'm wiser and more mature than that silly 18 year-old girl who wrote that journal entry ten years ago. I am grateful for the ten years I have had to grow and learn and for the fact that my life still goes on.